10/07/2025

LYFE THURSDAY | JULY 10, 2025

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Ű BY THASHINE SELVAKUMARAN Imitation can feel flattering at first, but over time, it chips away at your individuality.

You are not overreacting as personal identity deserves space and respect.

When imitation becomes toxic

T HERE is nothing wrong with sharing. A friend admires your top and you offer to let them borrow it. You recommend a perfume you love, and they ask where to buy it. These harmless, even heartwarming interactions are part of what makes friendship feel generous and open. But when the same friend begins consistently adopting your preferences from the exact clothes you wear to the way you style your hair, speak or even decorate your space, it can feel like something else entirely. What was once friendly admiration begins to resemble mimicry and subtle discomfort creeps in. This kind of behaviour is often referred to as mirroring, and while it might not seem malicious on the surface, it can take a toll. When a friend begins modelling their choices so closely after yours that you start to see yourself reflected in them, it no longer feels like a coincidence. Instead, it can feel like your identity is being quietly replicated and, worse still, taken for granted. Emotional impact of being copied The first few instances may be easy to brush off. A friend picks up the same blouse, compliments your scent or chooses a similar phone case. But over time, if the pattern continues especially when it extends into deeper areas such as speech patterns or social interests, it can start to feel invasive. There is a reason the phrase “be yourself” is so often repeated: individuality matters. Each person forms their identity through choices that reflect personality, culture, creativity and self-expression. When someone mimics those choices

o Setting boundaries could be necessary

without acknowledgment, it can feel like a subtle erasure of that effort. More than just material things, these behaviours affect the sense of uniqueness. Even if done unconsciously, being mirrored too often can make one feel like their personal preferences are being used, repackaged and presented elsewhere, almost as if their identity is no longer entirely their own. Why some people mirror Mirroring is, in part, a natural human behaviour. People often unconsciously pick up habits, phrases or gestures from those around them, especially those they

feel close to. It is a part of building connection and rapport. However, when mirroring becomes consistent and one-sided, when it starts to feel more like copying than connecting, then it may signal a lack of self-definition in the person doing the mimicking. Some individuals struggle to build a strong sense of their own identity, and as a result, attach themselves to others’ preferences as a template for how to exist. This becomes problematic when it overrides healthy boundaries. Instead of inspiration, it becomes imitation. Instead of admiration, it feels like competition. The difference may be subtle, but the emotional weight of it is very real. Facing discomfort For the person being copied, the emotions can be surprisingly complex. Guilt often plays a part, after all, the friend may not realise what they are doing, and calling them out could feel confrontational or petty. But at the same time, the consistent copying can create resentment, especially when it begins to feel as though your personal identity is no longer private or respected.

It is okay to feel uncomfortable when someone copies more than just your style. – ALL PICS FROM FREEPIK

There is also the question of ownership. No one truly owns a style, scent or saying but people do have the right to feel like their self-expression is theirs. It is not about claiming exclusivity over products or ideas but more on the emotional space they hold. When someone

dynamic. True friendship should allow space for difference, not demand constant overlap. In some cases, the person copying may eventually grow out of it. As they gain confidence and develop their own taste, the mirroring may naturally stop. But if it continues and starts to affect your sense of self, protecting your individuality becomes not only understandable but necessary. Bottom line There is a fine line between influence and imitation, and when that line starts to blur, it is okay to feel uncomfortable. Sharing is part of friendship but so is respect for each other’s individuality.

the friendship, even if nothing is explicitly said. Setting boundaries without drama If the behaviour is starting to affect how you feel around your friend, it may be worth creating some gentle boundaries not through confrontation, but through subtle shifts. You might share a little less or hold back certain recommendations. It is not about being secretive or cold, but about preserving a part of yourself that feels untouched by repetition. Sometimes, taking a step back and evaluating the friendship as a whole can help. If the relationship begins to feel one-sided or overly dependent, that may be a sign to reassess the

Setting quiet boundaries can help you reclaim your sense of self

mimics those parts of you repeatedly, it chips away at that space,

without conflict.

and over time it can lead to a quiet distancing in