08/03/2026

ON SUNDAY March 8, 2026 VI theSunday Special

Rewriting what it means to be a woman

“We must ask ourselves: Is it truly a choice if we are raised to feel a deep-seated shame and even badmouthed for refusing the role? Is it a choice if we do not raise men to view the maintenance of a home DV DQ HTXDO KXPDQ UHVSRQVLELOLW\"´ A choice, by definition, is an act of choosing between two or more possibili WLHV :KHQ VRFLHW\ R̆ HUV QR YLDEOH DOWHUQD tive, the option of opting out becomes an LOOXVLRQ “ $FFRUGLQJ WR WKH 8QLWHG 1DWLRQV GRPHVWLF ZRUN LV FODVVL¿HG DV WKH PRVW H[SORLWDWLYH IRUP RI employment on earth DQG WKH ULVH RI WUHQGV OLNH WKH µWUDGZLIH aesthetic’ and the use of social media plat forms to echo increasingly conservative values feels less like personal preference and more like the rebranding of a deep rooted system that has always relied on undervalued female labour and restricting women from educational institutions and WKH ZRUNIRUFH ´ VKH DGGHG F RU 8PPR WKLV F\FOH LV SHUVRQDO 6KH watches more girls pursue higher educa tion, only to be told they must be ready to abandon their careers for marriage and motherhood – just as her own mother left behind a medical degree to become a IXOO WLPH KRXVHZLIH “ +HU VDFUL¿FH LV ZKHUH WKLV F\FOH HQGV DQG LW HQGV ZLWK PH ´

ticity, we can slowly challenge limiting beliefs and unravel who we are outside HYHU\GD\ REOLJDWLRQV DQG VRFLHWDO H[SHFWD WLRQV ZKHWKHU DW KRPH VFKRRO RU ZRUN “ 6KHG WKH H[KDXVWLRQ RI FRQVWDQWO\ chasing validation by practising self compassion and allowing yourself to show up as your own person and be a human EHLQJ ¿UVW ´ .DU\Q VDLG It can be as small as carving out time for a forgotten hobby or as profound as UHGH¿QLQJ VXFFHVV RQ RQH¶V RZQ WHUPV 0RVW LPSRUWDQWO\ LW PHDQV ¿QGLQJ FRP PXQLW\ ± VSDFHV ZKHUH ZRPHQ FDQ H[LVW DV ZKROH SHRSOH QRW DUFKHW\SHV Letting women be without guilt F RU $GHOLD .KDOLG JURZWK H[HFXWLYH DW 3RFNHW RI 3LQN WUXH FKDQJH UHTXLUHV OLIWLQJ WKH EXUGHQ RI H[SHFWDWLRQ DOWRJHWKHU :RPHQ VKH VD\V PXVW EH DOORZHG WR H[LVW ZLWKRXW FRQVWDQWO\ VWULYLQJ WR EH ³JRRG´ – good daughters, good students, good ZLYHV JRRG IHPLQLVWV JRRG VXFFHVVHV 7KHVH ODEHOV SXVK ZRPHQ WR VHHN LGHQWLW\ LQ V\VWHPV WKDW RIWHQ GR QRW VHUYH WKHP “Women are often defined by other people rather than by who they are DQG ZKDW WKH\ ZDQW WR EH 7R SULRULWLVH themselves without guilt, we need to create a cultural system where women are WKHPVHOYHV ¿UVW EHIRUH DQ\WKLQJ HOVH RU DQ\RQH HOVH 7KXV WKLV FDQ RQO\ EH GRQH with a clear and cohesive structure in HGXFDWLRQ DQG DZDUHQHVV WKURXJK PHGLD ´ $GHOLD VDLG 7 his perspective is echoed by the organ LVDWLRQ¶V IRXQGHU $LQ +XVQL]D ZKR KDV long emphasised the role of storytelling DQG FUHDWLYH H[SUHVVLRQ LQ KHOSLQJ ZRPHQ UHFODLP DJHQF\ According to Ain, art can act as a form of healing and resistance, particularly for \RXQJ ZRPHQ ZKRVH H[SHULHQFHV DUH RIWHQ PLQLPLVHG RU VLOHQFHG 7KLV EHOLHI VKDSHG WKH RUJDQLVDWLRQ¶V ÀDJVKLS SURJUDPPH ([SUHVV WR (PSRZHU ZKLFK GHOLYHUV FRPSUHKHQVLYH VH[ HGXFDWLRQ WR FKLOGUHQ by combining factual learning with engag LQJ DFWLYLWLHV % efore they are taught how to please, achieve or endure, girls must be taught how to keep themselves safe, set boundar LHV DQG UHFRJQLVH WKHLU RZQ DXWRQRP\ :LWKRXW WKHVH IRXQGDWLRQV H[SHFWDWLRQV RI VHOI VDFUL¿FH DUH VLPSO\ LQKHULWHG UDWKHU WKDQ TXHVWLRQHG % eyond representation, the initiative includes mentorship in writing, directing and feminist theory for young women creatives, offering both visibility and VXSSRUW $V $LQ QRWHV WKHVH SODWIRUPV H[LVW WR VXUIDFH VWRULHV WKDW PD\ RWKHUZLVH never be told, or conversations women ZHUH GLVFRXUDJHG RU DIUDLG WR KDYH W KHQ ZRPHQ VHH WKHPVHOYHV UHÀHFWHG DV FRPSOH[ DXWRQRPRXV LQGLYLGXDOV LW becomes easier to imagine a life in which they are the authors, not the supporting FDVW RI WKHLU RZQ VWRULHV 7 he women who came before made sac UL¿FHV WR NHHS IDPLOLHV DÀRDW DQG IXWXUHV LQWDFW %XW DFNQRZOHGJLQJ WKDW OHJDF\ GRHV QRW PHDQ UHSHDWLQJ LW XQTXHVWLRQLQJO\ As these voices make clear, the task now is not to reject care or community, but to disentangle them from obligation and JXLOW % ecause when women are taught that their worth lies only in what they give, reclaiming the self becomes a radical act that deserves space, support and SHUPLVVLRQ

BY HAIKAL NAJWA

A CROSS generations, women are taught that love looks like VDFUL¿FH %XW ZKHQ FDUHJLYLQJ becomes an obligation and identity is shaped by duty, what is left of the self? From a young age, many women learn who they are not by looking inward, but E\ ORRNLQJ DURXQG 7KH\ DUH WDXJKW WR EH good daughters before curious individu als, supportive wives before ambitious dreamers and reliable caregivers before IXOO\ UHDOLVHG SHRSOH 2YHU WLPH WKHVH roles do not just shape behaviour – they VKDSH LGHQWLW\ F RU 6KLUDQ VWUDWHJLF Ṙ FHU DW 3RFNHW RI 3LQN ± D \RXWK OHG IHPLQLVW QRQ SUR¿W working with boys and girls through art, advocacy and education – this condition LQJ LV QRW DEVWUDFW ,W LV GHHSO\ SHUVRQDO passed down through generations of women who learned that sacrifice was V\QRQ\PRXV ZLWK ORYH DQG GXW\ Growing up, Shiran watched her grandmother build a business against overwhelming odds, only to shoulder the full weight of caregiving and household management alongside being the bread ZLQQHU +HU PRWKHU RQFH D GUHDPHU ZKR loved art and nature, gave up her ambition to study horticulture so she could support KHU IDPLO\ “She sacrificed many things for our family, many of which she told me were QRUPDO DQG WKH UHDOLW\ RI WKLQJV LQ OLIH ´ Despite their strength and capability, the women in Shiran’s family moulded WKHPVHOYHV WR ¿W H[SHFWDWLRQV SODFHG XSRQ WKHP DV GDXJKWHUV ZLYHV DQG PRWKHUV 7KHVH H[SHFWDWLRQV ZHUH QRW LPSRVHG once, but reinforced daily by tradition, by community and by seeing every other ZRPDQ GR WKH VDPH “It planted a seed in them so deep that it EHFDPH VHFRQG QDWXUH WR WKHP WR VDFUL¿FH

and give themselves away in the name of GXW\ ´ 6KLUDQ VDLG 2YHU WLPH VDFUL¿FH EHFDPH LQVWLQFWLYH QRW FKRVHQ “ 7KH ZRPHQ LQ P\ IDPLO\ PDGH PDQ\ ELJ VDFUL¿FHV 7KH VDPH VDFUL¿FHV WKDW ZHUH made to push others forward cost them the DELOLW\ WR SXVK WKHPVHOYHV IRUZDUG 7KHLU GUHDPV WKHLU DPELWLRQ WKHLU LGHQWLW\ ,W created so much burden for them to carry that they chose to let go of who they are to HDVH WKH ZHLJKW ´ 6KLUDQ DGGHG Becoming women in our own right 7 oday, this inherited obligation is often UHIUDPHG DV HPSRZHUPHQW 8PPR FRQ WHQW Ṙ FHU DW 3RFNHW RI 3LQN SRLQWV WR WKH growing romanticisation of the “divine IHPLQLQH´ DQG WKH µVRIW JLUO¶ DHVWKHWLFV – trends that present caregiving and do mesticity as aspirational lifestyle choices UDWKHU WKDQ VWUXFWXUDO H[SHFWDWLRQV “Marketed as a reclamation of woman hood, these trends frame domesticity and caregiving as an empowered personal choice and a pivot away from the gruelling KXVWOH FXOWXUH RI WKH PRGHUQ ZRUNIRUFH ´ 8PPR SRLQWHG RXW % ut for most women, these roles are not IUHHO\ FKRVHQ “ %DVHG RQ WKH $VLD 3DFLILF *HQGHU ,QGH[ DFURVV WKH $VLD 3DFL¿F PRWKHUV wives and daughters spend an average of 11 hours a day on a combination of paid DQG XQSDLG FDUH ZRUN 7KLV LV PRUH WKDQ IRXU WLPHV WKH WLPH PHQ VSHQG %\ IUDPLQJ WKLV ZRUN DV D µODERXU RI ORYH¶ GRPHVWLF ZRUN EHFRPHV QRQ ZRUN %\ ODEHOOLQJ FDUHJLYLQJ DV µQDWXUDO¶ VRFLHW\ MXVWL¿HV LWV H[FOXVLRQ IURP ODERXU ODZV DQG HFRQRPLF SURWHFWLRQ ´ 8PPR H[SODLQHG She challenges the idea of “choice IHPLQLVP´ KHDG RQ $ FKRLFH 8PPR argues, is only valid when there are real DOWHUQDWLYHV

Let go of chasing validation. Practise self compassion and allow yourself to be human first.”

Karyn

Reclaiming identity and agency For many women, identity is shaped by SHUIRUPDQFH .DU\Q VWUDWHJLF GLUHFWRU DW 3RFNHW RI 3LQN UHFDOOV JURZLQJ XS ZLWK WKH VLQJXODU JRDO RI EHLQJ D µJRRG GDXJKWHU¶ ± H[FHOOLQJ DFDGHPLFDOO\ QHYHU WDONLQJ back and measuring self-worth through DSSURYDO DQG DFKLHYHPHQW %XW DGXOWKRRG EULQJV UHFNRQLQJ :LWKRXW UHSRUW FDUGV RU H[WHUQDO YDOLGD tion, many women are left asking: Who DP , EH\RQG P\ UROHV" %H\RQG EHLQJ someone’s daughter, partner or caretaker? R HFODLPLQJ LGHQWLW\ .DU\Q DUJXHV EHJLQV ZLWK XQOHDUQLQJ ,W PHDQV TXHV tioning societal labels, setting boundaries and making decisions guided by curiosity UDWKHU WKDQ REOLJDWLRQ “ 7KURXJK WKRXJKWIXO H[SORUDWLRQ RI personal values and embracing authen-