01/03/2026
ON SUNDAY March 1, 2026 theSunday Special V
3. Silent treatment or withdrawal Perhaps one of the hardest moments for SDUWQHUV FRPHV QRW LQ WKH KHDW RI D ¿JKW EXW DIWHUZDUGV ZKHQ RQH ZDONV DZD\ VKXWV GRZQ DQG UHIXVHV WR HQJDJH In a multicultural and often socially FRQVHUYDWLYH HQYLURQPHQW OLNH 0DOD\VLD couples may avoid confrontation out of IHDU RI VKDPH DQJHU RU ³ORVLQJ IDFH´ 7KHUH LV DOVR D VWURQJ HPSKDVLV RQ SUHVHUYLQJ jaga aib or jaga muka DYRLGLQJ JRVVLS DQG SURWHFWLQJ WKH IDPLO\¶V UHSXWDWLRQ W RUNLQJ ZLWK PDQ\ FOLHQWV IURP GLI IHUHQW EDFNJURXQGV )RR QRWLFHG WKDW PRVW $VLDQ FOLHQWV ZDLW XQWLO ³WKH HOHYHQWK KRXU´ EHIRUH FRQVLGHULQJ SURIHVVLRQDO KHOS 7KLV PD\ DOVR EH LQÀXHQFHG E\ IDPLO\ XSEULQJLQJ ZKHUH LQ HDUOLHU WLPHV LW was considered best for men to stay quiet ZKHQ WHQVLRQV DURVH UDWKHU WKDQ OD\LQJ WKHLU FDUGV RQ WKH WDEOH DQG GLVFXVVLQJ problems in a healthy way as the modern JHQHUDWLRQ GRHV ³7UXWK LV ZKDW PD\ IHHO OLNH VHOI SURWHFWLRQ LH VXFK DV VLOHQW WUHDWPHQW RU VKXWWLQJ GRZQ RIWHQ KXUWV PRUH 6LOHQFH leaves the partner stranded in uncer WDLQW\ TXHVWLRQLQJ ZKDW WKH\ GLG ZURQJ RU ZKHWKHU WKH UHODWLRQVKLS LV VWLOO DOLYH 2YHU WLPH WKLV HPRWLRQDO ZLWKGUDZDO EHFRPHV D TXLHW HURVLRQ ´ )RR DGGHG In a world that idealises romance DQG FKHPLVWU\ LW LV HDV\ WR IRUJHW WKDW UHODWLRQVKLSV DOVR UHTXLUH PDLQWHQDQFH As the relationship researcher John Gott PDQ LV RIWHQ TXRWHG ³(YHU\ UHODWLRQVKLS GHPDQGV H̆ RUW IURP ERWK SDUWQHUV ´ I Q WKH 0DOD\VLDQ FRQWH[W HVSHFLDOO\ XQGHU SUHVVXUHV VXFK DV EXV\ VFKHGXOHV ¿QDQFLDO VWUHVV RU H[WHQGHG IDPLO\ H[SHF WDWLRQV WKDW FRQWLQXRXV H̆ RUW FDQ IDOWHU XQOHVV ERWK FRPPLW WR UHWXUQLQJ WDONLQJ DQG KHDOLQJ 4. Unspoken disappointment or sadness 6RPHWLPHV ZKDW ORRNV OLNH DQJHU RU disinterest on the surface is really disap SRLQWPHQW IHDU RU YXOQHUDELOLW\ XQGHUQHDWK
Small, repeated frustrations can build over time and quietly erode respect and connection.
Y RXQJ FRXSOHV LQFUHDVLQJO\ PDUU\ ODWHU RIWHQ EDODQFLQJ PRGHUQ DVSLUDWLRQV FDUHHU DPELWLRQV DQG IDPLO\ H[SHFWDWLRQV I Q VXFK D VKLIWLQJ UHDOLW\ WKH HPRWLRQDO dynamics that underlie relationships EHFRPH PRUH GHOLFDWH :KHQ UROHV VKLIW ZKHQ ERWK SDUWQHUV DUH MXJJOLQJ PXOWLSOH SUHVVXUHV WKH ULVN RI HPRWLRQDO GLVWDQF LQJ LUULWDWLRQV DQG XQVSRNHQ QHHGV JURZV XQOHVV FRXSOHV DFWLYHO\ QXUWXUH FRQQHFWLRQ FRPPXQLFDWLRQ DQG KRQHVW\ A OVR FXOWXUDO QRUPV DURXQG SULYDF\ VKDPH DQG ³NHHSLQJ XS DSSHDUDQFHV´ may make it harder for couples to address HPRWLRQDO SUREOHPV RSHQO\ )RU WKLV UHDVRQ )RR VXJJHVWV WKDW ZKHQ D UHODWLRQ VKLS ¿UVW EHJLQV WR VWUXJJOH LW LV EHWWHU WR seek help immediately rather than wait XQWLO LW LV WRR ODWH How to resist the drift R HFRJQLVLQJ WKHVH SDWWHUQV LQ \RXU RZQ UHODWLRQVKLS LV QRW D VLJQ RI IDLOXUH ,W LV D VLJQ RI DZDUHQHVV DQG RI FDUH R HEXLOGLQJ LQWLPDF\ LQ D FXOWXUH WKDW YDOXHV UHVWUDLQW GRHV QRW UHTXLUH VZHHSLQJ JHVWXUHV ,W UHTXLUHV VPDOO VWHDG\ DFWV • 6SHDN RSHQO\ +RQRXU WKH WUXWK RI ZKDW \RX IHHO VDGQHVV GLVDSSRLQWPHQW IHDU $V EHOO KRRNV SXWV LW /RYH LV DQ DFW RI ZLOO D GHFLVLRQ WR EH WUXWKIXO HYHQ ZKHQ LW LV XQFRPIRUWDEOH • B H FXULRXV UDWKHU WKDQ FULWLFDO :KHQ LUULWDWLRQ FUHHSV LQ LW LV ZRUWK DVNLQJ :KDW XQPHW QHHG LV EHKLQG LW" 2IWHQ FULWLFLVP LV D VLJQ RI KXUW ORQHOLQHVV RU D ORQJLQJ IRU FRQQHFWLRQ • 6HW DVLGH WLPH IRU D UHDO FRQQHFWLRQ ,Q EXV\ 0DOD\VLDQ KRXVHKROGV FDUY LQJ RXW PRPHQWV RI VWLOOQHVV 6KDUHG PHDOV TXLHW FRQYHUVDWLRQV KRQHVW UHIOHFWLRQV DOO RI WKHVH FDQ EHFRPH DQFKRUV LQ D WXUEXOHQW ZRUOG
7 he American author and cultural critic bell hooks wrote in her book All About Love: New Visions that to love - truly ORYH ZH PXVW FRPPLW WR WHOOLQJ WKH WUXWK HYHQ ZKHQ LW LV KDUG ³/RYH LV DQ DFW RI ZLOO ,W¶V QRW MXVW D URPDQWLF IHHOLQJ ,W¶V DQ RYHUDOO LQWHQWLRQ DQG DQ DFWLRQ ´ )RR DUJXHG 6 he stressed that to keep a relationship VWURQJ FRXSOHV PXVW SUDFWLVH LQWHQWLRQDO KRQHVW\ QDPLQJ VDGQHVV GLVFXVV LQJ GLVDSSRLQWPHQW DQG DGPLW WLQJ IHDU DOO RI ZKLFK FDQ
Love is an act of will. It’s not just a romantic feeling. It’s an overall intention and an action.”
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A partner may lash out or ZLWKGUDZ EXW ZKDW WKH\ UH ally feel is sadness that the UHODWLRQVKLS LVQ¶W ZKDW WKH\ H[SHFWHG WKDW WKH RWKHU SHU VRQ GRHVQ¶W VHH WKHP SULRUL WLVH WKHP RU XQGHUVWDQG WKHP :KHQ WKRVH GHHSHU IHHOLQJV UHPDLQ KLGGHQ XQVSRNHQ WKH relationship becomes a place of SUHWHQGLQJ UDWKHU WKDQ WUXWK 2YHU WLPH VXFK FRQ cealment builds a wall between WZR SHRSOH
help partners walk towards HDFK RWKHU DJDLQ LQVWHDG RI GULIWLQJ DSDUW LQ VLOHQFH Wanita dan lelaki, urban or rural Malaysia is a country of FKDQJLQJ VRFLDO VWUXFWXUHV More women are study LQJ ZRUNLQJ DQG HDUQLQJ 7UDGLWLRQDO UROHV DW KRPH DUH EHLQJ UHQHJRWLDWHG
Juggling work and daily pressures can strain emotional connections in relationships.
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