19/09/2025

FRIDAY | SEPT 19, 2025

/thesuntelegram FOLLOW / Malaysian Paper

ON TELEGRAM m RAM

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COMMENT by Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri

From grit to pearly grace W E often admire the final result without thinking about what came before it. A polished stone. A tall tree. “Not everything that is faced can be changed but nothing can be changed until it is faced”.

That grain of sand, representing life’s pain, loss and lessons, will not just vanish but it can become something else – something useful, even something good. Remember, the oyster does not get to choose what enters but it gets to choose what to do with it. And so do we. Change like this takes time. Pearls don’t form overnight; it is the same with us. The process is slow and it often feels like nothing is happening but beneath the surface, something is. You learn, you soften, you build new layers and bit by bit you become someone wiser than before. Alan Watts once said, “The only way to make sense of change is to move with it and join the dance”. It is a gentle reminder: don’t fight the shift, learn from it. Let it shape you, even if you can’t see where it is leading just yet. The hardest part? Most of this work happens quietly. You don’t get a medal for growing. No one throws a party when you stop reacting, when you start letting go or when you finally forgive. But this inner work – the silent kind – is often the strongest kind. Pearls are not perfect – some are lopsided and some never leave the shell – but all of them carry a story. They remind us that value does not always come from what you start with but from what you do with it. Anne Morrow Lindbergh once wrote, “The sea does not reward those who are

“Pearls are not perfect – some are lopsided and some never leave the shell – but all of them carry a story. They remind us that value does not always come from what you start with but from what you do with it.

Focus on the Family Malaysia: We have all heard the despicable horror stories. Help your mum learn to watch out for threats and recognise common types of fraud: 0 Identity theft: Identification numbers, such as MyKad, credit card, driver’s licence, phone, or bank account, can be stolen in various ways: from a lost wallet, discarded mail or receipts or even over the phone through convincing scams. If your mum uses a computer, install reliable anti-malware software to help protect her information. 0 Imposter scam: This scam involves criminals posing as a relative or old friend in trouble to trick you into sending money. Always verify before responding. Be extra cautious with calls or emails claiming to be from a bank or government agency asking for personal or banking details. 0 Home-maintenance fraud: Be cautious of prepaid services, such as cleaning, renovations or repairs, offered at unusually low prices. Scammers often take the money and disappear or use substandard materials. Always choose a licensed, reputable company. Check references and reviews, and insist on a written contract that clearly outlines the project scope, timeline and payment terms. It is also wise to avoid hiring anyone who solicits work door-to-door. 0 Telemarketing and social media fraud: Smooth-talking scammers may offer A quiet success. We see the outcome but not the struggle. Pearls are no different; they shine with calm and beauty. But if you know their story, you will realise that they begin with something small, and more often than not, painful. I thought oysters naturally produced pearls, as that was simply what oysters do, like chickens laying eggs. It wasn’t until a visit to Jamilah Jewellery in Kota Kinabalu years ago that I learned otherwise. The seller explained the truth, and I remember feeling quietly surprised – and more than a little corrected. You see, a pearl begins with a problem. A bit of sand or a broken shell gets stuck inside an oyster. The oyster can’t remove it, so it protects itself the only way it knows how – by coating the irritant with layer upon layer of nacre. Over time, the wound becomes smooth and the pain becomes beauty. And life feels a lot like this. We don’t just grow from joy and comfort; we grow from the things that hurt – from the job that did not work out; from the mistakes we could not undo and from a long silence, goodbye or change we weren’t ready for. These are not the parts of life we like to talk about but often, they are the ones that shape us the most. Writer James Baldwin famously wrote in his 1962 The New York Times essay,

Pearls don’t form overnight; it is the same with us. The process is slow and it often feels like nothing is happening but beneath the surface, something is. – WIKIMEDIAPIC

doesn’t have to be loud. Some of the best things begin from pain and then turn into peace – not because the pain was good but because you stayed long enough to learn from it. You are not broken, you are becoming the pearl in the story of your life. DrNahrizul Adib Kadri is a professor of biomedical engineering at the Faculty of Engineering, and the principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

too anxious, too greedy or too impatient. One should lie empty, open and choiceless as a beach – waiting for a gift from the sea”. That is how growth feels sometimes. You cannot rush it or force it, you just have to keep showing up – open, steady and ready to receive what life brings next. So if you are in a season that feels tough – where something stings or stays unsettled – maybe this is your “pearly” moment. Maybe something strong is forming, even if you can’t see it just yet. Growth doesn’t always look big – it

LETTERS letters@thesundaily.com

UNDER ONE ROOF

Shielding seniors from scams and threats Q: My widowed mother is still pretty independent but I worry about her being vulnerable to scam artists who victimise the elderly. How can I protect her against this kind of abuse? freebies or try to sell unnecessary goods and services. They often pressure you to act fast and pay by credit card, claiming the offer is “limited” or time-sensitive.

Balancing cigarette tax hikes and enforcement MALAYSIA’S plan to raise cigarette excise taxes aims to discourage smoking, improve health and boost revenue. But without stronger enforcement and smarter regulation of alternatives, it risks fueling illicit trade and losing more revenue than gained. Currently, illicit cigarette trade costs Malaysia about RM5 billion annually, accounting for 54% to 60% of consumption. When legal prices rise sharply but illicit prices remain low, smokers – especially low- and middle-income groups – will turn to untaxed options. Enforcement agencies report over 80% of illicit packs lack valid tax stamps while 13-14% bear counterfeit ones. With high profits, low risks and patchy enforcement, smugglers expand their reach. If price hikes outpace enforcement, illicit volumes will rise. Vaping tax revenue tells another story. From 2021 to mid-2025, Malaysia collected RM288 million from vaping, compared to RM15 billion from cigarettes. This gap shows vaping is cheaper and that vape taxes could increase without pushing consumers to unregulated markets. Neighbouring countries like Indonesia differentiate taxes by product and use excise stamps for better control. Policy must focus on enforcement before tax hikes – digital tax stamps, tougher penalties, better border control and regional coordination. Raising vape taxes to Asean norms while maintaining legal channels and reinvesting revenue in enforcement will help combat illicit supply. Without these steps, big cigarette tax hikes alone risk boosting illicit trade, undermining both health and fiscal goals. Abdul Hasbi Abdul Salim

eight. Puberty brings significant changes in physical development and body image, which can be frightening if she is unprepared. That is why helping your daughter understand what to expect is key to building a healthy sense of self. From a practical standpoint, it is usually best if mum handles these conversations if possible. She has the personal experience to draw from and daughters tend to feel more comfortable with another female. This means single dads may want to consider having a trusted family member help out or perhaps a woman who your daughter knows and respects. This conversation takes a bit of preparation. Our organisation provides helpful resources on this topic. The main thing is to connect with your daughter and reassure her that the coming changes are normal. Be positive and encouraging. Remember, even if your daughter has already entered into puberty, it is not too late to have an open conversation. This is a great opportunity to reinforce that you are there to support and walk with her as she grows into womanhood. This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

0 Contests, gambling and lotteries: Contests often lure seniors with promises of “guaranteed prizes” while gambling and lottery scammers frequently target the elderly. 0 Health and medical fraud: Simply put, never invest in health-care products or treatments without first consulting with a doctor or pharmacist. 0 Financial fraud: Investment fraud and pyramid schemes are all commonly aimed at elderly people. Make sure your mum has a comprehensive financial plan for her personal investments, insurance and estate. A reputable financial planner can help her put her affairs in order. Then it should be easy and automatic to say no to all solicitations. If the unfortunate has happened – you or a senior loved one has fallen victim to a scam – it is important to lodge a police report, no matter the type of scam involved. Q: Our daughter is almost 10, and I assumed the conversation about puberty was still a while away but now I’m not so sure. She is growing up so quickly. What should I know and when is the right time to start talking to her about it? Focus on the Family Malaysia: There is some debate about why but there is no question that puberty is starting earlier in girls – sometimes as young as seven or