14/09/2025

ON SUNDAY September 14, 2025 theSunday Special XII T HEY’RE not your ride-or dies – they’re your parking-lot wavers, your baristas and your lift neighbours. In a world that feels increasingly fragmented, these quiet connections may matter more than we realise.

In pasar malam (night markets), for example, regular food vendors often slip in something extra for their loyal custom ers – a small gesture, no explanation. In a culture that balances collectivism and modern hustle, these mild ties act like silent bridges between strangers. When your inner circle isn’t available One reason these bonds matter is that our closest relationships aren’t always accessible. Friends move. Schedules clash. Not everyone has the energy or luxury of a deep connection at all times. In these gaps, mild friends hold the line. They may not know you deeply, but WKH\ R̆ HU D GHSHQGDEOH NLQG RI OLJKWQHVV You don’t have to explain your whole life. You don’t have to check in. You just show up at the café, in the lift, on the LRT and they’re there. Sometimes, these bonds evolve. A FDVXDO QHLJKERXU EHFRPHV D FRQ¿GDQW The auntie at the fruit stall tells you her son’s getting married. You start as polite strangers and slowly, imperceptibly, something steadier takes root. This slow-burn intimacy is underrated. There’s no “friending” each other on social media. No pressure to hang out. Just a thread that gets quietly stronger every time you smile, wave or share a silly one-liner about the weather. I Q ÀDWV ZKHUH VSDFH LV WLJKW DQG OLYHV are stacked, these tiny relational sparks RIWHQ PDNH WKH GL̆ HUHQFH EHWZHHQ IHHOLQJ isolated and feeling grounded. Choosing presence without pressure What’s beautiful about mild friendships is that they come with no emotional tax. No long WhatsApp replies. No calendar syncing. Just presence and a bit of light curiosity. In an era when many feel socially burned out, this kind of connection is deeply humane. It reminds us that friendship exists on a spectrum and not every relationship must be intense to be meaningful. M LOG IULHQGV DOVR R̆ HU VRPHWKLQJ WKDW close friends sometimes can’t: relief from identity roles. Your best friends might know your struggles, but they also carry expectations of who you are. Mild friends don’t. You’re just “that guy who buys teh tarik after gym” or “that lady who always has cat hair on her top”, it’s freeing. In Malaysian work culture, these friendships often live at pantry corners, during lunchtime routines or the 3pm kuih -sharing moment. No big gestures. Just small, consistent threads of human interaction – free from performance, obligation or politics. When things go wrong, when life cracks unexpectedly, it’s often these “mild” friends who surprise us. The barista who asks if you’re okay. The colleague who senses your slump and offers a quiet doughnut. The neighbour who knocks on your door with extra durian, no explana tion needed.

Not all friendships are built on secrets, sleepovers and soul-baring heartache. Nods, small jokes and a consistent pres ence stitch them together. They don’t hold your trauma, but they remember your drink order. They don’t know your middle name, but they know when your face looks tired. These are mild friendships – not shal low, not intense, just light, loyal and strangely comforting. The colleague you always end up next to in meetings. The auntie who sells you nasi lemak every Thursday. The gym regular who doesn’t know your name but still gives you the same post-workout thumbs-up. As it turns out, these low-stakes connections are the ones we often overlook, yet they are powerful contributors to our emotional well-being. Quiet glue in a loud world The world celebrates deep connection: “Find your tribe”, “bestie vibes only”, “inner circle only”. However, for many, such intimacy is rare, exhausting or simply not available all the time. What often gets overlooked is that PLOG IULHQGVKLSV R̆ HU VRPHWKLQJ HTXDOO\ essential: social texture. They soften the loneliness of urban living without demanding vulnerability. They remind you that you exist in a web of tiny recogni tions – not just relationships. Researchers call these ties “weak social connections.”. But weak doesn’t mean unimportant. In fact, a 2014 study found that the more of these casual acquain tances people had, the happier and more connected they felt overall. In Malaysia, this could mean the abang Grab who recognises your route, the lady at the sundry shop who rounds down WKH WRWDO RU WKH Ṙ FH VHFXULW\ JXDUG ZKR cracks the same joke every other day.

The magic of people who almost know you BY SIMON VELLA

These interactions don’t escalate, but they accumulate, helping us feel held by the world in subtle and non-invasive ways. It’s not surprising that Malaysians often UHPHPEHU WKHLU GDLO\ FR̆ HH VWDOO QRW IRU the drink, but for the person serving it. These soft connections become an integral part of our landscape – the background music to our routines. Even in larger cities like Kuala Lumpur, where anonymity can be comforting, there’s still a unique delight in seeing familiar faces across the urban sprawl.

Mild friendships don’t ask much. But they offer something rare: consistent, low pressure warmth.”

In places like local food stalls, repeated smiles build slow, invisible bridges between strangers.