06/07/2025

ON SUNDAY JULY 6, 2025 X theSunday Special

It’s not about airing dirty laundry. It’s about understanding each other, even when love feels lost. Foo believes that all relationships, not just those on the brink, can benefit from therapy. “Therapy is a private space to explore what’s working and what’s not. It’s a chance to be heard, to hear your partner and to see your relationship from a fresh angle.” However, in Malaysia, stigma remains a major barrier for many Malaysians – Malay, Chinese or Indian – marriage problems are seen as private affairs. Seeking therapy is often equated with shame. There’s a deep-rooted fear of gossip and a cultural pressure to preserve dignity at all costs. But for Foo, a licensed trauma thera pist with 15 years of experience, fear of judgment is the biggest reason couples avoid therapy. “Especially in conservative or rural communities, people think therapy means failure. That only broken couples need help. But the truth is, therapy is for anyone who wants to grow together.” For conservative couples in rural com munities, there’s no denying that seeking therapy can feel like a foreign language. These are families used to sweeping things under the rug, not bringing them into the light. But it’s exactly in these spaces where a shift in perspective is most needed. Governments and public institutions must help normalise therapy, especially for couples struggling in silence.

Malaysian couples can turn to therapy when love hurts With divorce rates rising, it’s more important to understand that a ‘quick exit’ isn’t always the answer

BY AQILAH NAJWA JAMALUDDIN

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ISAGREEMENTS, tense dinners and the occasional silent treatment were once the hallmarks of relationship drama. Our grandparents

More and more Malaysian couples are turning away from the idea of fixing what’s broken and instead choosing to walk away. Therapy, which could be a bridge to healing, is often dismissed. Many prefer quick exits to facing the uncomfortable conversations, believing divorce is less painful than vulnerability. This is an uncomfortable truth that needs to be addressed. “Sometimes it feels hopeless. But what if all you need is a safe space to remember why you fell in love in the first place? Even small shifts in how you speak and listen to each other can unlock doors you thought were shut forever,” said Faith Foo, founder of Faith Foo Counselling in Petaling Jaya. Beyond the stereotype of therapy being the final attempt to save a failing marriage, it should instead be seen as a first step.

Therapy, which could be a bridge to healing, is often dismissed.

faced these hurdles with stoicism, some times silence. But times have changed and so have the challenges. For modern couples, the cracks run deeper. In Malaysia, the pressures of fast paced digital life, online connections and increasingly free-mixing at work are straining modern-day marriages. In 2023, research by the National Population and Family Development Board of Malaysia revealed that 11.8% of couples finalised their divorce due to infidelity. A staggering 56.2% cited a lack of understanding, while 10% blamed interference from family members.

“The emotional fallout can extend far beyond the couple, affecting family structure, community dynamics and children’s emotional well-being.”

Foo