06/07/2025

ON SUNDAY JULY 6, 2025 theSunday Special VII

Maybe you didn’t finish the book, but you read a page. Perhaps you didn’t run 5km but walked around the block. Maybe you didn’t meditate for 30 minutes, but you took five slow breaths in your car before entering. Those things matter. They are the difference between waiting for a miracle and planting one. Often, your growth will be visible to others before it registers with you. A colleague says, “You seem less stressed lately.” A friend notices, “You’re not as reactive anymore.” Suddenly, you realise they’re right. You’ve shifted. You didn’t post about it. You didn’t make a speech. You just changed, wholly and quietly. Across Malaysia’s spiritual and cul tural spectrum, this idea isn’t new. From daily prayers, meditations and mantras – there’s a common thread: true trans formation is rarely dramatic. It’s found in the return. The return to breath. The return to practice. The return to stillness, again and again. Like all good practice, it loops. You’ll have days when you regress. Days you fall short. Days you wonder if any of this is worth it. But if you can show up anyway – imperfect, uncertain, a little tired – that’s where the real growth happens. You don’t need a story – you need rhythm Social media is built to celebrate the end result – the glow-up, the big win, the “after” shot. But real life isn’t always built for public viewing. Some of the strongest people you know don’t have a dramatic story. They just built a rhythm.

Maybe your breakthrough won’t look like anyone else’s. Maybe it’s learning to like yourself in the silence.

They showed up in their own life. They kept promises to themselves. Not all at once – but little by little, over and over. Maybe your breakthrough won’t look like anyone else’s. Maybe it’s learning to like yourself in the silence. Maybe it’s staying home instead of saying yes out of guilt. Maybe it’s realising you’ve stopped chasing people who never chose you. These aren’t big moments. But they are big shifts. So the next time you catch yourself waiting for a lightning bolt, remember this: seeds grow in darkness, long before they sprout. And you? You’re growing too. With roots before blooms. With quiet effort that compounds. Keep going even when it’s boring. Especially then. Because the most underrated kind of breakthrough isn’t the one that changes your world in a second, it’s the one that changes you – steadily, patiently, for good. Dr Sritharan Vellasamy is the CEO of Wordlabs Global, a regional media company based in Kuala Lumpur and the author of the upcoming book Drag You to the Mountain .

Your habits shape your identity. Choose actions that align with the person you aspire to be.

What emotional growth looks like, from a therapist’s chair

THERE’S a misconception about how people change. That growth must come with a dramatic release – a breakthrough moment, a deep cry or a sudden life pivot. But to Dr Aevent Koh, a licensed and registered counsellor at Greyspace, that idea doesn’t reflect what actually unfolds in therapy. “People often imagine therapy as a dramatic revelation – a single moment that ‘fixes’ every thing,” he said. “But real change is quieter. In my practice, I guide clients through a process that mirrors life: repetitive, nuanced and built on small steps.” Rather than rushing to solutions, Koh begins by helping clients explore their experiences more patiently. Not just the visible struggles, like stress or burnout, but the needs and fears driving them. “We start by untangling the client’s struggles – not just the symptoms, but the emotions, conflicts and unmet needs beneath them. Koh said this isn’t about quick labels; it’s about patience. Once those patterns are identified, attention shifts to where they come from. “A client’s burnout could be linked to child hood patterns of overachievement. Or their relationship conflicts might reveal deeper fears of abandonment. The goal isn’t to ‘solve’ these overnight but to understand them.” Koh then works with clients to act with inten tion – not through sweeping change, but small, deliberate choices.

“Someone learning to set boundaries might start by saying ‘no’ to small requests. Then gradu ally apply this to bigger areas of life.” It’s a process that takes time and looks deceptively ordinary. “Later sessions revisit plans, adjust strategies and celebrate subtle progress – like a gardener tending to sprouts, not just waiting for harvest,” he said. This kind of slow work can feel counter intuitive in a culture shaped by exams, results and timelines. But to Koh, it’s the most sustainable kind. “In Malaysia, we’re conditioned to see struggles as problems needing immediate solutions,” he said. “Clients often ask, ‘How fast can I feel bet ter?’ But mental health isn’t a glitch to repair – it’s a lifelong relationship with oneself.” Even the language people use – labelling feelings as “posi tive” or “negative” – can get in the way of healing. “We label emotions as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ but this misses their purpose,” he said. “Anger signals injustice. Sadness honours loss. Even anxiety can be a call to prepare. The goal isn’t to eliminate ‘negative’ feelings but to listen to them – like a compass pointing toward unmet needs.” So what does progress actually look like? “The most profound shifts often hide in plain sight,” he said. “A client who pauses before snapping at their child. Someone recognising their worth after years of self-doubt. The decision to rest without guilt.” He says these shape a person over time – not all at once, but with care, curiosity and patience.