08/06/2025

ON SUNDAY JUNE 8, 2025 X theSunday Special

W HEN we imagine what happiness looks like, we tend to think of it in big terms. A promotion. A house. A wedding. A trip to Iceland or Japan. Something you can SRVW DERXW 6RPHWKLQJ ZLWK D FHUWL¿FDWH a price tag or a caption that gets likes. But most of life isn’t made up of grand milestones. Most of it is just … ordinary. Waking up. Running errands. Answering texts. Cleaning up after dinner. Sitting in WUḊ F :DLWLQJ LQ OLQH ,I MR\ RQO\ OLYHV LQ WKH SHDNV WKDW OHDYHV XV HPSW\ WKH UHVW of the way. The secret, as many psychologists, PRQNV DQG WLUHG Ṙ FH ZRUNHUV ZLOO WHOO you, is this: happiness doesn’t only come IURP PDMRU HYHQWV ,W¶V VWLWFKHG LQWR WKH tiny, unglamorous, barely noticeable PRPHQWV ZH RIWHQ RYHUORRN 7KDW ¿UVW VLS RI FR̆ HH RQ D TXLHW PRUQLQJ )LQGLQJ parking on the first try in Mid Valley Megamall (yes!). A message from a friend at just the right time. Someone is letting you cut in at a toll booth. The breeze on an early morning walk. A hot bowl of curry noodles after a long day. These don’t make headlines. But stacked together, WKH\ TXLHWO\ FDUU\ XV WKURXJK Psychologists refer to this as micro pleasures – the idea that small, repeatable GRVHV RI SRVLWLYH HPRWLRQ FDQ EH MXVW as impactful (if not more so) than the occasional rush of a big win. In a world that’s often stressful and unpredictable, these tiny joys become emotional shock absorbers. We don’t always register them as joy, because they don’t hit us ZLWK IDQIDUH %XW RYHU WLPH WKH\ PDWWHU 3URIHVVRU %DUEDUD )UHGULFNVRQ IURP WKH 8QLYHUVLW\ RI 1RUWK &DUROLQD FDOOV WKHP ³SRVLWLYLW\ WRS XSV´ ± VPDOO HPRWLRQDO ERRVWV WKDW KHOS EXLOG UHVLOLHQFH FUHDWLYLW\ And in Malaysia, where daily life can feel like a high-pressure relay – from dead OLQHV WR ZHGGLQJ LQYLWHV IURP WROO URDGV to WhatsApp group demands – small joys are more than indulgence. They’re VXUYLYDO T KLQN DERXW KRZ PDQ\ RI WKHVH KDYH TXLHWO\ VDYHG \RXU GD\ WKH VRXQG RI WKXQ der before a much-needed rainstorm. A stranger’s smile at the mamak restaurant ZKHQ \RX¶UH IHHOLQJ R̆ $ ZHOO WLPHG VRQJ RQ WKH UDGLR GXULQJ D MDP RQ WKH )HGHUDO Highway. A cat randomly chooses your ODS GXULQJ D VWUHVVIXO HYHQLQJ $ NLQG *UDE GULYHU ZKR GRHVQ¶W IRUFH FRQYHUVD tion – just lets the silence be. and long-term wellbeing. Let the little things land

The best parts of life aren’t big, they’re beautifully small A good breeze, a hot noodle bowl and a well-timed green light might be doing more for your happiness than you think BY DR SRITHARAN VELLASAMY

It’s about being gently aware. Of the tiny things going right. Of the neutral moments that didn’t become disasters. Of the slow mornings, the working air conditioning, the text that says “home VDIH´ You don’t need to become a gratitude JXUX RU MRXUQDO REVHVVLYHO\ -XVW VWDUW paying attention. One tip psychologists UHFRPPHQG LV VDYRXULQJ ± WKH SUDFWLFH of stretching out a moment of joy for just D IHZ VHFRQGV ORQJHU +ROGLQJ WKDW ¿UVW sip of kopi in your mouth a bit longer. Taking in the sound of rain before rushing to close the windows. Looking up at the sky instead of down at your phone while walking to the car. A QRWKHU WULFN LV ³QDPH LW WR IHHO LW´ When you spot something good, say LW ± HYHQ VLOHQWO\ ³7KLV IHHOV QLFH ´ ³7KDW ZDV NLQG ´ ³:KDW D SHUIHFW EUHH]H ´ $F knowledging the moment adds weight to it. It sticks. Here’s something else that might surprise you: sharing joy amplifies it. 1RW QHFHVVDULO\ LQ D VRFLDO PHGLD SRVW but in the simple act of telling someone, ³

We grit our teeth. We get through it. :H NHHS JRLQJ HYHQ ZKHQ ZH¶UH UXQQLQJ on empty. Yes, resilience matters. But strength without softness can turn rigid. 6RPHWLPHV WKH EUDYHVW WKLQJ \RX FDQ GR is to let yourself feel delight in something VPDOO RU VLOO\ RU ÀHHWLQJ 6RPHWKLQJ WKDW reminds you that joy isn’t a reward for VXUYLYLQJ ,W¶V SDUW RI WKH UHDVRQ WR VWD\ Maybe it’s the smell of pandan. A FKLOGKRRG MLQJOH 7KH ZD\ D WRGGOHU ZDYHV at you in public. A clean bedsheet. A long green light when you’re late. Maybe it’s the peace that comes with washing \RXU FXS DW WKH HQG RI WKH GD\ ± WKH ¿QDO punctuation mark before rest. 1 one of these will earn you a trophy. You can’t list them in a CV. But string enough of them together and you start to IHHO KHOG 1RW LQ D JUDQG ,QVWDJUDPPDEOH ZD\ %XW LQ WKH TXLHW OLYHG LQ ZD\ WKDW makes ordinary days feel like enough. In a world where we’re told to want more – more success, more experiences, PRUH SURRI WKDW ZH¶UH ³GRLQJ ZHOO´ ± VPDOO joy reminds us that presence is enough. 7KDW LV QRZ HQRXJK 7KDW OLIH HYHQ ZLWK RXW ¿OWHUV RU DSSODXVH FDQ VWLOO EH ZKROH S R WKH QH[W WLPH \RX IHHO R̆ FHQWUH GRQ¶W FKDVH D PLUDFOH /RRN FORVHU )HHO your feet on the ground. Taste your tea. 7H[W \RXU IDYRXULWH SHUVRQ MXVW WR VD\ ³KHOOR´ 6PDOO MR\ ZRQ¶W ¿[ HYHU\WKLQJ But it might just be the thing that gets you through. D ľϰ€ľÿŊü¾ľ¾ěϰ ãēē¾ł¾ęũϰÿłϰŊüãϰ &`ϰĢöϰ ¡Ģľßē¾Øłϰ9ēĢؾēμϰ¾ϰľã÷ÿĢě¾ēϰęãßÿ¾ϰÙĢęĻ¾ěũϰ ؾłãßϰÿěϰPŏ¾ē¾ϰRŏęĻŏľ ¾ěßϰŊüãϰ¾ŏŊüĢľϰĢöϰŊüãϰ ŏĻÙĢęÿě÷ϰØĢĢĐϰ Drag You to the Mountain λ

Strength matters. But strength without softness can harden us.”

The human brain is wired to notice WKUHDWV ,W¶V SDUW RI RXU VXUYLYDO LQVWLQFW ± scan for danger, brace for impact. But that VDPH LQVWLQFW PDNHV XV RYHUORRN WKH JRRG We habituate to pleasure faster than pain. A WUḊ F MDP UXLQV RXU PRRG IDVWHU WKDQ D EHDXWLIXO VXQVHW ¿[HV LW 7R UHEDODQFH WKDW ZH QHHG WR WUDLQ RXUVHOYHV WR QRWLFH joy. Do not manufacture it – just see what’s already there. It’s not about being XQWKLQNLQJO\ SRVLWLYH

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