30/09/2026

WEDNESDAY | SEPT 30, 2026

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COMMENT by Dr Naveen Nair Gangadaran Keeping discipline without the cane

does not remove the consequence. Children have to learn that their actions affect other people. Positive reinforcement has a place too. We often notice children most when they do something wrong. The child who disrupts the class receives immediate attention; the child who has spent an hour trying hard to control his impulses may pass unnoticed. Sometimes a simple acknowledgement matters: “I noticed you stayed calm today.” Even in my encounters with adolescent patients, I have found that recognising small efforts can change the tone of a conversation, including conversations about taking medication or following treatment. Repeated criticism can make a young person shut down quickly. Being firm while acknowledging what they are doing right often gets us further. But encouragement cannot be the only tool. When a student deliberately hurts another child, repeatedly disrupts a classroom or ignores reasonable instructions, there must be consequences. The difference lies in what those consequences are designed to achieve. Humiliation may produce obedience for a moment. A meaningful consequence should help the child understand what happened, who was affected and what needs to be done next. That may mean detention, an apology, repairing something that was damaged, guided reflection or losing a privilege. Accountability and compassion can coexist. I learnt something similar much later as a doctor. When I was younger, one of my bosses would occasionally pull me aside after a case. Rather than embarrass me in front of everyone, he would ask me to explain what I had done and why. We would go through the decisions together. I still knew when I had made a mistake. But I was thinking about the mistake

of being shouted at, embarrassed or punished. Silence is not always the same as respect. Children today are growing up differently. They are encouraged to speak, question and express what they feel. Sometimes, this is interpreted as disrespect. I have seen this even within my own family. My six-year-old nephew seems to have one favourite word: “Why?” – Why must I do this? Why can’t I do that? Why did you say so? For those of us who grew up with “because I said so”, the endless questioning can be exhausting. Yet, it also tells us something about this generation. They have grown up expecting explanations. That does not mean every rule requires a negotiation. Children still need adults to say no. Moving away from fear does not mean moving away from boundaries. Listening to a child does not mean allowing the child to decide everything. Empathy is not permissiveness. I once watched my cousin deal with her seven-year-old son, an energetic boy who can be difficult. She was firm with him. Instead of shouting or punishing him, she explained what he had done, why it mattered and what she expected from him. Then she listened and redirected him to another activity. The anger disappeared and he settled. Watching them, I realised that authority had not disappeared; it had simply changed its language. Understanding behaviour can help us respond to it better. A child who lashes out may be frustrated, tired, anxious, seeking attention or struggling to express something. Another may simply be testing how far a boundary can be pushed. The reason matters but so does accountability. We should try to understand why a child behaves badly – but understanding the reason

rather than about the humiliation. Adults are not so different from children in that respect. Yet, any discussion about modern discipline that ignores teachers would be unfair. Teachers are now caught in an impossible position. They are expected to maintain order, protect every child, manage increasingly complex behaviours and communicate sensitively with parents while knowing that a few seconds of a difficult encounter can be recorded and shared. Teachers need our support too. We have rightly questioned some disciplinary practices of the past. But if we take away old methods, we must give teachers practical alternatives. Schools need clear rules and teachers need the confidence to enforce them. Parents need to understand that supporting their child does not always mean defending everything their child does. And children need to know that being heard does not mean always getting your way. The discipline teacher walking down the corridor with his cane belongs to another generation. I do not think many of us would want to recreate that same world. But there is the need for boundaries. The challenge is to preserve what was valuable in the discipline we grew up with – responsibility, respect and consequences – without relying on fear to produce them. The cane may once have kept a classroom quiet. What we need now is children who understand why they should behave well even when no cane is tapping outside the door. Dr Naveen Nair Gangadaran is a paediatrician at Hospital Tuanku Ja’afar Seremban. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

T HE classroom once fell silent at the mere sight of a cane. I remember our discipline teacher walking along the corridor, the rhythmic tap of the cane against the floor, enough to send students rushing back to their seats. Fear kept us in line. Perhaps respect did too, but both were sometimes difficult to separate. That world is different now. Today, teachers find themselves dealing with students who answer back, threaten to “report” them or pull out a phone during a confrontation. Parents question why a teacher was stern with their child. A disciplinary incident can leave the classroom and appear online within hours, stripped of context and open to public judgement. We can look back and say discipline was better before but was it? I remember coming home after being scolded by a teacher and hoping for some sympathy. My father’s response was usually brief: “You must have done something wrong. Teachers don’t scold for no reason.” That was the understanding then. Teachers were respected. The old saying “ Maatha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam ” placed the teacher after mother and father, before even the divine. Parents generally stood behind teachers and children understood where authority lay. Many of us grew up with discipline, humility and a clear understanding that actions had consequences. But we also knew what came with that system. Some children behaved because they understood right from wrong. Others behaved because they were frightened

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