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Breaking generational trauma

o New-gen parents raise children by reshaping family dynamics, balancing structure, evolving values

F ROM the strict, emotionally reserved households of past generations to today’s more communicative and emotionally conscious parenting approaches, the way parents raise their children has undergone a significant transformation. While core values such as discipline, respect and responsibility remain central, modern parenting increasingly reflects a blend of structure and emotional openness – proving each generation is redefining family dynamics in its own way. For many Gen X parents, parenting often means maintaining traditional discipline while gradually embracing more emotional openness. For Jayanthi Pachayappan, 49, parenting is rooted in balancing firm boundaries with support and communication. “Strict discipline when necessary but as parents, you must still be open to hearing your kids out when an issue comes along. You have to be supportive of them,” she told theSun . At the heart of her parenting philosophy are strong moral values centred on kindness, fairness and self-respect. And like many parents from her generation, Jayanthi’s parenting style has been significantly influenced by how she was raised. “My siblings and I had good parents, but they were old-school people. Me, on the other hand, while I do hold onto some of their old school parenting values, my husband and I also try my best to be more open to my kids,” she said. Her approach reflects a transitional phase for many Gen X parents, who often p r e s e r v e traditional discipline w h i l e Ű BY SHIVANI SUPRAMANI

consciously softening the emotional distance they experienced growing up. When it comes to discipline, Jayanthi believes in fairness and consistency. “We used to threaten the children that if they did something naughty, there would be consequences such as no toys or phones for a week. “Having three children, we made sure to maintain fairness as well by making sure they properly understood what caused the consequences,” she explained. Still, she acknowledges balancing nurturance with authority remains one of parenting’s biggest challenges. “One thing that was a challenge was trying to figure out when to be nurturing and when to enforce rules,” she admitted. However, as her children grow, Jayanthi has also adapted her parenting to suit their changing developmental needs. “The older they get, the more different experiences they have and phases they go through. So, communication, especially during conflicts, is very important. We’d give both of us time to cool down and process our emotions before talking about the situation that went down,” she said. For Jayanthi, parenting is as much about growing alongside her children as it is about raising them. “Having the ability to grow together with the children and see them grow up to be good people is something that all parents want. For this to happen, remember not to push yourself to follow a certain type of parenting style. Find a balance in everything that you do with your kids,” she advised. Ultimately, Jayanthi hopes her children carry forward the moral foundation she

Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z may parent differently, but the goal remains the same: Raising kind, capable and resilient children.

positive influence of her upbringing, Sahira has actively chosen to parent differently. “I’m trying to be more open with my child and not feel ashamed to tell him that I love him openly, hug and kiss him or praise him even for the tiniest thing,” she said. Her parenting philosophy reflects a generational movement towards emotional validation and communication, where children are encouraged to understand rules rather than simply obey them. “I focus more on guiding and educating rather than scolding. I want my child to understand the reason behind rules, not just follow them out of fear,” she added. Shared goal across generations Despite differing experiences and evolving methods, all three parents ultimately share the same long-term goal: Raising kind, capable and emotionally secure individuals. Jayanthi wants her children to remember important moral values and the importance of loving family while Justin hopes his children remember that they were deeply loved, consistently supported and raised with guidance and respect. Similarly, Nur Sahira wishes her children to know “it’s always okay for them to be themselves around me and talk about anything they want.” Parenting, redefined Parenting styles may shift with generational values, societal pressures and cultural changes, but one truth remains constant: Every parent is trying to prepare their child for the world in the best way they know how. Whether shaped by Gen X’s resilience, Millennial’s adaptability or Gen Z’s emotional awareness, today’s parenting landscape is increasingly less about rigid formulas and more about intentional growth, adaptability and connection. In many ways, modern parenting is no longer about choosing between discipline or love – but learning how to offer both.

From strict discipline to emotional openness, parenting across generations proves that child rearing is constantly evolving. – ALL PICS FROM 123RFPIC

discipline I was raised with, I have intentionally chosen to be more communicative and emotionally available with my own children,” he said. This generational shift reflects a broader pattern among Millennial parents who seek to preserve discipline while softening the harsher edges of older parenting norms. Justin emphasised discipline in his household is rooted in consistency rather than fear. “My children know the rules and when boundaries are crossed, there are fair consequences. I focus more on teaching lessons than instilling fear.” For Gen Z parents such as Nur Sahira Mohd Jailani, 28, the shift is even more pronounced. Like Justin, Nur Sahira also identifies with an authoritative parenting style, but her approach strongly centres on emotional openness, adaptability and conscious departure from more traditional Asian parenting methods. “I grew up with Asian parenting – you know, the kind where parents don’t really show their affection openly to their kids and the kind that believes in the ‘my-way-or-no-way’ saying,” she shared. While she acknowledges the

worked hard to instil.

The younger generation of parents For many Millennial parents, parenting often means consciously balancing the firm discipline they were raised with against a more emotionally supportive approach. For Justin Gurusamy, 36, authoritative parenting is about creating that balance. “I believe in being firm but fair – setting clear expectations and boundaries while also making sure my children feel heard, supported and loved. It is about guiding them rather than controlling them,” he said. Raised in an era when parenting was often stricter and less emotionally expressive, Justin acknowledges his own upbringing significantly shaped his parenting style, but not without intentional adjustments. “Growing up as a Gen Y child under a Gen X parent, parenting was often stricter and less

emotionally expressive. While I appreciate the

Modern parenting is redefining family dynamics by blending structure, empathy and communication across every generation.