05/04/2026

ON SUNDAY April 5, 2026 II theSunday Special

“One of the biggest mistakes families make is assuming equal contribution is fair,” Darshini said. Household incomes vary widely. One sibling may be single, another supporting three children. Some may be earning in foreign currency, others just starting. “When siblings don’t openly discuss ZKDW WKH\ FDQ D̆ RUG UHVHQWPHQW EXLOGV One person may be struggling quietly while another is comfortable. “We are not used to being upfront about ¿QDQFHV %XW DYRLGLQJ WKH FRQYHUVDWLRQ causes more damage in the long run,” Darshini said. In Asian households, talking about money remains uncomfortable.

One of the biggest mistakes families make is assuming equal contribution is fair.”

L RYH JXLOW DQG ¿QDQFLDO EOLQG VSRWV D DUVKLQL ZKR KDV EHHQ LQ WKH ¿QDQFLDO services industry since 2018, sees the biggest blind spot as an emotional one. “ /RYH GULYHV SHRSOH WR JUHDW VDFUL¿FH ´ she revealed. Many adults feel a deep sense of obliga tion to repay their parents for years of care and support. Saying no feels ungrateful. Setting limits feels selfish. That same instinct applies to their own children. “They want to give their children ev erything. Just like how they were raised,” Darshini shared.

A guide for Malaysian siblings who share the costs of their parents’ medical, housing and caregiving support The sandwich generation 2.0 BY ASHRAF WAHAB That model is breaking down.

O N paper, life looks settled. There is a stable job, a home bought after years of saving, maybe a spouse, maybe young children who need school fees, enrichment classes and weekend attention. From the outside, this is the Malaysian urban success story. Behind closed doors, however, many professionals are quietly managing an other role. They are co-parenting. Not their children, but their parents. It shows up in monthly bank transfers to cover medical bills, in siblings’ What sApp threads about caregiving schedules DQG LQ GL̇ FXOW FRQYHUVDWLRQV DERXW ZKR pays for what. It is rarely discussed openly, yet increasingly common. Financial planner Darshini Nadarajan has seen this shift up close. “The sandwich generation has evolved. :KDW ZH DUH VHHLQJ QRZ LV ¿QDQFLDO FR parenting among siblings,” she said. When tradition meets modern reality In previous generations, caring for age ing parents followed a familiar pattern. The eldest child or the son would take responsibility. Parents would move into the family home. Costs were absorbed quietly and unevenly.

Urban living has changed the equation. Smaller homes, condominium living and higher property prices mean fewer families have the space to take parents in. At the same time, Malaysians are living longer and healthcare costs are rising steadily. “Letting parents live with you is no longer feasible for many families. “So instead, children pay for their parents’ housing, medical care and some times full-time caregivers,” Darshini explained. What once fell on one sibling is now shared across several. Add the rising cost of raising children and the expectations placed on modern parents and the pres sure multiplies. “Today’s working adults are supporting upwards and downwards at the same time,” Darshini observed. W KDW ¿QDQFLDO FR SDUHQWLQJ UHDOO\ looks like I Q UHDO OLIH ¿QDQFLDO FR SDUHQWLQJ LV UDUHO\ formalised. It often starts with good inten tions. Siblings agree to split costs equally. Medical bills are divided. Rent for parents’ accommodation is shared. Caregiving expenses are pooled. This is where problems begin.

Financial co-parenting often begins with siblings agreeing to split the costs of caregiving and medical care.