06/01/2026

LYFE TUESDAY | JAN 6, 2026

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Unheard cries

Children often assume parents from another generation “won’t get it” or simply lack the language to express complex feelings. The result is an emotional void where children withdraw, hide struggles or avoid difficult conversations, making it harder for parents to notice warning signs. Central Force’s report implied this silence may also be happening on the parents’ side, as many feel unsure how to start conversations about emotions or mental wellbeing, leading to avoidance. Without support, children may become more reactive or aggressive, even leading to bullying. Therefore, when parents are unaware of their children’s state of mind, they are left vulnerable. Alarmingly, Central Force International’s report found over half of Malaysian parents give little or no thought to their children’s mental health. Parents failing to spot red flags? Children often internalise the emotional atmosphere around them and become overly compliant or people-pleasing out of fear. A child who said: “I get a stomachache every morning because it feels like something bad is going to happen”, simply because his mother rushes anxiously every morning. Another child shared they “try not to make noise so my parents won’t start again” because his parents argue frequently. Cultural expectations in many Asian families further

calming down after small triggers. 0 Distress Persistent worry, sadness or physical complaints such as stomach aches or headaches without medical cause. Be your child’s emotional co-pilot Creating emotional safety does not require helicopter parenting. Parents must actively create an emotionally safe space for children to communicate. This involves quality time, normalising emotions, treating mistakes as learning opportunities and building independence and confidence. Do not be afraid to share a little honesty too. If a parent or teacher says: “I get overwhelmed too sometimes”, it takes away the invisible pressure kids feel to be perfect. This shows that stress and sadness are human, not failures. Validating these feelings, instead of dismissing them, helps children feel secure and empowered, encouraging them to speak up, seek support and become confident decision-makers.

appear calm and well-regulated at school but release intense emotions only at home where they feel safe. It is common for parents to misread this as misbehaviour or a bad temper, not realising it is often a sign that the child has been holding themselves together all day. Insights from other Central Force studies revealed many parents admitted feeling in the dark about what is really happening in their children’s lives and worry that their kids may fall in with negative influences, highlighting the challenge of spotting warning signs early. However, even attentive parents can struggle to pick up these signs. To help, the 4Ds are recommended: 0 Differences Noticeable changes in a child’s usual patterns, such as sleep, appetite, motivation, social behaviour or communication. 0 Dysfunctionality When changes begin interfering with daily life, such as difficulty concentrating, declining school performance, withdrawing from favourite activities or struggling with age-appropriate tasks. 0 Dysregulation Emotional or behavioural outbursts, irritability, excessive crying, meltdowns or difficulty

O NCE only seen in movies, violence and tragedies in children and teenagers are escalating. This year alone, a nine year-old allegedly slashed his six-year-old brother after losing Roblox points, a teen boy fatally stabbed a classmate over unrequited feelings – and a 17-year-old accused of killing his mother and brother. Despite these worrying cases, the exclusive country member of Malaysia for the Worldwide Independent Network of Market Researcher (WiN), Central Force International’s latest findings revealed over half of Malaysian parents give little or no thought to their children’s mental health. This suggests a major disconnect between what is happening around them and what parents believe is happening at home. The headspace of children today is clearly not where it should be. Is it time for parents to helicopter again? Reality of growing up in always-on digital world From as young as three to as old as 12, children are navigating a world vastly different from the one their parents grew up in. The pressures are not necessarily heavier, but they are fundamentally different and often invisible to adults, when social media exposes them to expectations and standards they may not have the maturity to process yet. It is hard for children not to compare when their feeds show friends travelling, unboxing new gadgets or living what looks like a perfect life. Even if they know these moments are curated, it can still feel like they are falling behind. Many kids describe this as feeling like everyone else is doing something exciting while they are stuck doing nothing special. The Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission internet users survey 2022 reported 11.7% of Malaysians spend over 18 hours online per day – and 16% of them are under 20, which leaves many teenagers with almost no mental downtime. This constant digital engagement can easily spill over into real emotional distress. Seeing polished versions of their peer’s lives can slowly chip away at their confidence. They may start doubting whether they are interesting, successful, “fun” enough, and even feel lonely in a room full of people. A separate qualitative study by Central Force affirmed this concern as many parents reported excessive screen time on personal devices as one of the top three mental-health risks for their children These emotional pressures sit on top of real-world stressors – on- and offline bullying, violent news cycles, academic load and high expectations at home and school – creating a layered mental burden that many children struggle to articulate. The Social & Economic Research Initiative (Seri)’s 2024 study found 9% of teen girls and 13% of teen boys have been victims of social media o Malaysian parents barely think about kid’s mental health

scams and more than half have encountered harmful or disturbing content online. These pressures often manifest through behavioural, psychological and emotional pressure – many of which parents overlook until they escalate. Parents sounding alarm New data from Central Force International, exclusive country member of WiN, showed just how widespread parental concerns have become. 43% of Malaysian parents reported intense worry about their child’s mental health. This is higher than many other Asia-Pacific nations featured in the global report, where Vietnam (28%), Australia (27%), China (21%), Indonesia (14%) and Thailand (11%) reported considerably lower levels of parent concerns. This combination of high worry but low day-to-day attention suggests many parents only react when a crisis emerges, rather than checking in regularly. Despite high concern, Central Force found Malaysian parents spend significantly fewer hours per week discussing emotional wellbeing with their children compared with the global average. Other global patterns from the WiN study help explain this: Parents aged 35–54 are the most stressed, reflecting the challenges of adolescence. Those with lower education levels and stay-at-home mothers feel the most on edge as well. When applying this context to Malaysia, it points to the possibility that many highly stressed parents may have limited emotional bandwidth to monitor or support their children, even if they care deeply. This signals that parents’ confidence in handling their children’s challenges may also be influenced by the information, resources and support available to them. Parents want to help, but cannot 38% of Malaysian parents fear their child may be silently struggling, higher than the 26% reported globally, with good reason. The Health Ministry reported in September 2025 that one in four Malaysian adolescents exhibit depressive symptoms, reflecting a growing mental health strain among children. Several factors can make

This article is contributed by We Rather Bee senior clinical psychologists and co-founders Jacqueline Foo, Jean Goh

Children often internalise the emotional atmosphere around them. – 123RFPIC

parentifies children, particularly older siblings, who may feel an unspoken pressure to take on adult responsibilities or be the “strong one”. Over time, these early experiences affect how they cope and emotions later in life. At the same time, some chi ldren with relationships

children hesitant to open up. Not because they do not trust their parents, but because they care so much about the relationship. Children might fear disappointing them, being judged,

misunderstood or met with reactions that feel invalidating, even when they have a strong bond with

their parents. Generational and cultural gaps can widen this d i v i d e .