09/11/2025

ON SUNDAY November 9, 2025 theSunday Special III

Modern life makes solitude hard – but not impossible Even when we are physically alone, we’re rarely disconnected. Our days are shaped by a constant stream of noise – messages, work updates, videos, smart assistants, endless content. In this state of hyper availability, two things quietly happen: ¿UVW ZH GHYHORS D IHDU RI PLVVLQJ RXW convinced someone else is living a better version of life; and second, our ability to VHOI UHÀHFW HURGHV When your attention is always outward, your sense of inner clarity grows faint. You don’t know why you’re exhausted. You can’t name what you need. You just

folding laundry with no background noise. These moments, stripped of performance, make room for presence. If solitude makes you anxious, you’re not alone – most of us weren’t taught how to be with ourselves. But it’s a skill and like any skill, it starts with practice. Begin small. Ten minutes a day with no agenda. No screens, no music, no to-do list. Just sit. Or take a slow walk. Let your thoughts surface without grabbing at them. Don’t aim for clarity. Aim for contact. You’re not trying to “do nothing” – you’re trying to become reacquainted with yourself, the part of you that lives underneath the replies and tasks and reactions.

keep moving – stimulated but numb, productive but detached. When approached with care, time alone becomes an emotional reset button. It helps regulate your nervous system. It reintroduces you to your own rhythm, QRW WKH RQH GHPDQGHG E\ QRWL¿FDWLRQV RU deadlines. In that space, insights appear TXLHWO\ *ULHI ¿QGV D ZD\ WR PRYH WKURXJK Creativity reawakens. Priorities gently rearrange themselves. Some of the most profound shifts don’t happen in therapy or conversation. They happen while doing something small and RUGLQDU\ ± VZHHSLQJ WKH ÀRRU LQ VLOHQFH walking at dusk without headphones,

You’re not alone – you’re just reacquainting yourself with your own company.”

Time alone, with intention … is one of the most humanising things we can do.

The Malaysian texture of quiet In Malaysia, solitude can feel elusive. :H OLYH LQ GHQVH VSDFHV ± ÀDWV WHUUDFH houses, shared homes. Family obligations often stretch across generations. Silence LVQ¶W DOZD\V HDV\ WR ¿QG But still, there are windows: morning walks before the city wakes, the quiet after rain, the stillness in places of worship between prayers, an empty park bench. Solitude doesn’t need to be grand. It just needs to be noticed. Five minutes of uninterrupted awareness can be as profound as an hour of meditation. This is the subtle shift: loneliness says, “No one is here with me.” Solitude, when well-practised, says, “I am here with myself.” When you spend time alone without rushing to escape it, you begin to learn: • What you truly enjoy when no one else is watching • What your emotions are trying to tell you when you slow down enough to listen • What matters to you beyond trends, scripts and opinions Being alone isn’t a failure of connection. It’s the foundation of it. In a world that constantly pulls your attention outward, solitude is the rebellion that grounds you. It’s not about withdrawing from others – it’s about re-entering your own presence, gently, honestly, without apol ogy. Because once you learn how to enjoy your own company, you’ll never fear being alone again.

Making peace with stillness

How can people gradually build comfort with quiet time, especially in high-stimulation environments? Start with micro-moments of stillness. You don’t have to switch off completely – just carve out small pauses where you let your senses reset. Take your coffee without your phone, look out a window before checking messages or walk without music. These quiet intervals signal to your brain that silence isn’t a threat but a space for recovery. Over time, short breaks expand into longer stretches of calm. Activities that involve gentle focus – such as gardening, sketching or journalling – also help. They engage your attention

without overstimulating you and train your mind to stay focused on one task. The aim isn’t total silence; it’s learning to be comfortable with less noise. What role does self-awareness play in reducing feelings of social dependence? Self-awareness is what anchors solitude. It allows you to notice your emotional pat terns rather than react to them. When you recognise the difference between “wanting connection” and “needing distraction”, you become less dependent on constant social feedback. That awareness builds confidence in your own presence – a quiet steadiness that travels with you, even in a crowded world.