15/10/2025

WEDNESDAY | OCT 15, 2025

10

Satire of Trump’s reaction to peace prize S ETTING : A gilded sitting room in Mar-a-Lago. President Donald Trump is scowling at a tablet while Melania sips a glass of your... uh... shifting posture on the conflict. A N O T H E R T A K E

Trump: Zelensky? That puppet. I gave him billions! He’s an ingrate! A total lightweight. I made him famous. General X: We hear he was really pissed off that you are not putting (Vladimir) Putin under greater pressure. And also not providing him with more military support. (Enter domestic policy advisor, C, looking grave.) C: Sir, the reports are bad. Our social media monitoring shows the European Union and the UK media are having an absolute field day. They are calling this a “victory for global cooperation” and a “defeat for America first isolationism”. They are celebrating the snub, Sir. Celebrating our loss! Trump: (Sputtering) Isolationism? I’m the most unisolated president ever! I talk to everyone. I’ve had more meetings than anybody. These people are sick. They love losing. That is their problem. And the EU? A terrible organisation. I could solve all their problems in an hour but they don’t want the greatness. Idiots are running the place. Never trusted them, never will. They are all trying to screw us, excuse me for saying that, hon. C: Of course, Sir. It’s just an award but the European media is making a big deal because of you. Trump: Exactly! A total nothingburger. They gave it to (Barack) Obama. Did you know that? They gave it to Obama for what? For showing up? He had no idea why he was even getting it. He was president for 12 minutes and they gave him the prize. He probably thought it was a coupon for a free smoothie. He didn’t deserve it. I actually did things. Big, huge things. Melania : (Sips her water) Hon, so you do not need it. Let them have their little prize. You have your followers. They love you. Trump: (Pacing now) It’s a witch hunt! A Nobel witch hunt! But you are right, darling. It’s no big deal. (Stops pacing, a look of profound realisation dawning on his face) They can keep their worthless award. It’s been cheapened. By Obama, by all the previous winners.

mineral water, looking impassively out of the window. Two close friends are around. Trump: (Slams the tablet onto a velvet cushion) It’s a disgrace! A total and complete disgrace. A rigged deal, just like the election. The Nobel people are a bunch of losers. Melania: (Without looking over) Again, Donald? You talked about this all night. Trump: How can I be quiet, Melania? Obama! I’m better than cheating Bama! He got one. He just stood there and looked dumb. I made peace all over the place. I should have gotten two, three! One for Gaza, which is tremendous, the impossible accord and another five or six I got done around the world. No one else could have achieved this. So many leaders have been calling me to say that I fully deserve it but they don’t want to be named. Melania: I don’t trust them, darling. They are obviously sucking up to get something from you. Friend A (loyal financier): A complete sham. Utterly disgraceful, Boss. The committee is playing woke politics to spite you and the American people. Everyone knows it. Probably, the Democrats had a hand… their deep state network, it goes everywhere. Even to Norway. They see you are strong, so they must stop you. Friend B (golf groupie): That’s right. It’s the deep state! They’re in the fjords! They probably called up the committee and said, “You can’t give it to Trump. He’s too good. He’ll make the award great again”. (Enter a nervous foreign policy advisor, General X, clutching a folder.) General X: Mr President, with all due respect, our intelligence suggests the decision was... let’s just say, heavily influenced by our European partners. We’re getting backroom chatter that President (Volodymyr) Zelensky played a surprisingly key role, citing

B

Y

E

L

E

I

H

M

G

T

K

E

C

“I made peace all over the place. I

should have gotten two,

three! One for Gaza, which is tremendous, the impossible accord and another five or six I got done around the world. No one else could have achieved this. So many leaders have been calling me to say that I fully deserve it but they don’t want to be named.

Trump speaks with the press on board Air Force One in Mildenhall, Suffolk yesterday after he and regional leaders signed a declaration to cement a ceasefire in Gaza. – AFPPIC

hon. Next year, you must win it. But for now... the administration must show strength. We should punish Norway. C: Punish Norway? How do we punish Norway? Melania: (A slight, thin smile) We can put a massive tariff on their salmon. The orange fish. A 100%. It is very good for the kids but the Norwegians do not deserve to profit when they disrespect the president. It will be a lesson. Trump: (Stopping his pacing, eyes widening. He snaps his fingers.) The salmon! That’s brilliant, Melania! So big, so fatty, so beautiful, and now... so EXPENSIVE! We hit them where it hurts. A “Salmon tariff for peace!” That’s a tremendous idea. You’re a genius, sweetie. We’ll show them who the real peace prize winner is! (Trump beams, already dialling a number, leaving the two advisors standing in stunned silence.) Lim Teck Ghee’s Another Take is aimed at demystifying social orthodoxy. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

I gave them the chance to rewrite the entire Peace Prize history, and they screwed up big time. I’m going to start my own award, the Trump Peace Prize. It’ll be huge. We’ll have it at Doral. Gold plating. And you only get it if you’ve made a great deal. Much better than Nobel. General X: (Forcing a smile) A brilliant idea, Sir. Truly visionary. Friend A: Fantastic, Boss. There’s no way the Democrats will not support this. Friend B: There’ll be many friends wanting to chip in on this in any way, Sir. Just let me know. Trump: Of course, it will be a huge hit. The Norwegians and the rest of the world will be begging me to take their lousy prize, and I’ll say, “Sorry, I have my own, it’s much better”. Now, get me the head of the RNC (Republican National Committee). We need to talk about how the fake news media is covering this. It’s all their fault. Melania: (Stepping closer, a cold glint in her eye) I still want you to win it,