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Living apart takes emotional toll on spouses

Sandakan eateries struggle amid water disruption SANDAKAN: Some restaurants here are still using paper cups and plastic cutlery as the water supply remains unstable. Restaurant worker Mohd Rosman Saluuis, 25, said his outlet had to resort to using paper cups along with plastic spoons and forks to save water for washing since the second day of the water disruption in Sandakan. However, they continue to use ceramic plates to serve food, as paper or polystyrene plates are not suitable for hot dishes. Although water supply resumed on Thursday, the low pressure has been insufficient to fill the restaurant’s storage tanks. “Water has started coming in, but it’s still unstable. So, we need to use it sparingly to ensure our reserve supply can be used for cooking. “For the past week, we had to operate only half-day for two consecutive days due to running out of stored water,” he told Bernama. Rosman said they also had to purchase mineral water to keep the restaurant running, using 20 to 30 cartons of 1.5-litre bottles daily. Meanwhile, kopitiam worker Mohd Hanif Sahari, 27, said his eatery has stopped using paper cups and plastic cutlery after water supply was restored on Friday. He said for several days they had no choice but to serve hot drinks in paper cups, although some customers were uncomfortable with it. “Some customers were unhappy when hot drinks were served in paper cups, but that was the only alternative to keep the shop operating. Many restaurants had to close when the water supply was disrupted,” he said. On Thursday, the Sabah Water Department announced that the Segaliud Water Treatment Plant resumed operations at a production capacity of 130 million litres per day on Wednesday night after repair works on the 275kV Kolopis Segaliud transmission line were completed. keeping households emotionally balanced when one partner is away, she added. “Couples must proactively balance responsibilities and make the most of time together during visits. “This not only strengthens family ties but also reduces stress caused by the distance.” For families with children, Mastura stressed that maintaining emotional support is especially critical. She said parents must remain actively involved in their children’s lives, even from afar. “Simple gestures – such as encouraging words, virtual hugs or joining children’s activities online – can ease feelings of abandonment. “Parents should also be alert to signs of anxiety, sadness or withdrawal. If these appear, early steps such as family counselling may be necessary,” she said. – By IKHWAN ZULKAFLEE

Challenges such as lack of quality time with children, financial pressures add more stress to already complex family dynamics: Academic

opportunities, education or financial limitations. “Technology helps to stay connected, but it can’t replace a hug or the comfort of presence after a long, tiring day. Misunderstandings also occur more often when communication is reduced to brief calls or messages. “Loneliness, guilt and sadness intensify during illness, parenting struggles or personal setbacks,” she said. The challenges deepen for families with children, as the parent left at home shoulders most of the parenting and household duties. “Managing two homes, travelling back and forth and still trying to save for the future – these financial burdens add yet another layer of stress to an already complex family dynamic,” she said. A research paper co-authored by Salina last December noted the same trend is visible in advanced economies such as Europe, Canada and parts of Asia. Universiti Teknologi Mara lecturer Mastura Razali, who is also a member of the Centre for Family Law and Consultation, echoed these concerns. “Couples in long-distance marriages often face emotional isolation, lack of physical affection and the loss of daily support from their spouses. Without trust and strong communication, these challenges can spiral into depression and emotional detachment,” she said. She cited a historical episode during the Caliphate of Umar Al-Khattab, when a woman expressed deep longing for her husband away on jihad . Umar consulted his daughter Hafsah on how long a woman could endure separation, to which she replied, “four to six months”. Mastura said the episode illustrates the emotional toll of prolonged absence. “When one parent is away, the other is forced to manage children’s schooling, meals, chores and financial planning alone. “This imbalance breeds pressure and fatigue. “The absent parent often feels guilty and helpless, while the one at home feels overwhelmed and unsupported.”

█ BY IKHWAN ZULKAFLEE newsdesk@thesundaily.com

Salina said technology helps to stay connected, but it cannot replace a hug or the comfort of presence after a long, tiring day. – ADIB RAWI YAHYA/THESUN

PETALING JAYA: Holding a marriage together has never been tougher. Across Malaysia, couples are living apart – torn between survival, sacrifice and the dream of one day reuniting under the same roof. Financial pressures and career demands are pushing more families into long-distance arrangements, often at the expense of emotional well-being and daily routines. For 48-year-old Roseni Slamat, life was turned upside down after the pandemic in 2020. Formerly a real estate agent in Johor Bahru, her income collapsed during lockdowns. “After the lockdown, my earnings dropped sharply. To survive, I moved to Kuala Lumpur to start a food business with a friend,” she said. Although the move was tough, Roseni counts herself fortunate. Her stall operates four days a week, allowing her time each month to travel home. “Right now, I’m not sure how long we will continue living apart, but we’re definitely working towards being together again.” For Mohd Khairuddin Azizan, 40, a store general manager with a major grocery chain, separation is about responsibility. “As the head of the family, I’m responsible not just for my wife and kids, but also my parents. The way I care for my family is by ensuring their needs are met. To do that, I need a stable income – and that means holding on to my job,” he said. Khairuddin works tirelessly, giving up futsal and even his car hobby to devote his free time to his children. “Of course, I’ve sacrificed other things, but it’s worth it if my kids don’t feel like

they’re missing out.” For personal assistant Izzayati Husna Ahmad, 36, the choice was financial necessity. “To live comfortably, I had to take a job that offers better pay and career growth. “The downside? There’s not enough quality time with the family, especially the kids. Sometimes, they could not spend enough time with their father, as he’s already on his way out again.” She remains hopeful: “Once the opportunity comes, I definitely want us to live together again.” These stories reflect a wider trend. Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia Centre for Psychology and Human Well-Being, Social Sciences and Humanities faculty senior lecturer Dr Salina Nen said couples rarely live apart by choice. “It’s usually about career

‘Meaningful communication vital in long-distance relationships’ PETALING JAYA: Living apart from a spouse is never easy – but with the right strategies, clear communication and a resilient mindset, experts say couples can not only survive but also thrive in long-distance relationships. She added that emotional openness plays an equally important role. “Share feelings of loneliness or stress instead of bottling them up. Openness reduces misunderstandings and strengthens emotional closeness. of relationship stress – money. Universiti Teknologi Mara Contemporary Islamic Studies Academy lecturer Mastura Razali said couples should maintain strong marital bonds through communication, trust and compassion – values deeply rooted in Islamic teachings. essential to

Psychology and Islamic family studies specialists agree that while physical separation creates emotional and physical hurdles, proven approaches exist to preserve trust, intimacy and stability – even when couples are divided by cities, states or countries. Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia Centre for Psychology and Human Well-Being, Social Sciences and Humanities faculty senior lecturer Dr Salina Nen said regular, meaningful communication is vital, although it does not need to be constant. “Consistent but realistic communication helps. Some couples keep simple routines, like a quick call before bed or a weekly video chat. It’s not about long hours, but showing effort and intention,” she said.

“Long-distance relationships can trigger insecurities, so even small updates – like letting your partner know when you’re busy – help build trust.” According to Salina, trust is not built overnight but through steady, intentional actions. Even small gestures, such as explaining why a call was missed or sharing updates about one’s day, can provide reassurance. She stressed that when couples reunite, the focus should be on quality rather than quantity. “Be present and emotionally connected. Don’t just rush through activities. Make the time count,” she said, adding that planning finances as a team not only bonds couples but also eases one of the biggest sources

“In Islam, frequent and meaningful communication between husband and wife is crucial, especially when they are apart. The relationship must be built on love, understanding and honesty,” said Mastura, who is also a member of the Centre for Family Law and Consultation. She added that modern tools such as video calls and instant messaging could help bridge emotional gaps. “Digital communication helps reduce longing and strengthens bonds. Couples should plan regular visits and approach conversations with honesty and empathy,” she said. Shared planning and efforts are