22/08/2025

FRIDAY | AUG 22, 2025

10

Love you Malaysia and all your perfect imperfections

COMMENT by Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri

I THINK I have lived long enough to see both progress and heartbreak in this country. And I am still here. Still holding the same red passport, still standing up when Negaraku plays – wherever and whenever – and still quietly hopeful even when things don’t go the way I wish they would. Loving Malaysia, for me, has never been about idealism; it is about presence – about showing up even when the mood isn’t festive, when the headlines disappoint you or even when your voice feels small. The truth is, this country is still in the middle of becoming, and so are we. We often talk about nation-building like it is a clear before-and-after story: Merdeka, then unity; reform, then renewal. As if independence is a destination and everything after that will unfold neatly. But anyone who has spent time in the middle of anything – a relationship, career or personal change – knows that the middle is the hardest part; it is where things get messy. There are days when I feel proud, days when I walk through a pasar malam and hear four languages blending into one conversation, days when I see students standing up to ask hard questions or days when I see someone quietly picking up a flag from the ground and folding it with care. And then there are days when it all feels heavy – when the news wears you down, when unity feels fragile, when you wonder if anything you are doing is making a difference. That tension between pride and pain, between what is and what could be, is exactly the reality of loving something in the middle of its story. There is a kind of myth we have absorbed – maybe from films or books or polished speeches – that loving your country means defending everything about it. That if you speak

about what is broken, you are being disloyal. But I don’t believe that. You can love something and want it to grow. You can love your country and call it out when it needs to do better. That is what real love is about: not blind praise but honest care. Sometimes, that care means going back to your hometown to vote, whether on a weekday or weekend. Sometimes, it is volunteering in your community, whether in your neighbourhood or the Orang Asli community in Sungai Koyan. Sometimes, it can be just staying here – staying in the ring even when you are tired, staying when it would be easier to check out and move on to greener pastures. I have had friends leave – some with heavy hearts and some with relief – and I don’t blame them. This is not always an easy place to stay. But for those of us still here – whether building, teaching, fixing or dreaming – there is something worth holding on to. Because the middle, as messy as it is, also holds possibilities. It is in the middle where policies are tested; where relationships across race, status and belief are built; and where people begin to reimagine what fairness, integrity and dignity can look like – not just in law or history books – but in our everyday, noisy lives. So if you are feeling disillusioned, I understand. But don’t give up yet, don’t check out just because the work ahead is hard. Nation-building is not a spectator sport; it

You can love something and want it to grow. You can love your country and call it out when it needs to do better. That is what real love is about: not blind praise but honest care. – BERNAMAPIC

Still trying. Still loving this country. Not because it is perfect but because it is mine. Because I truly believe that loving something in the middle of its growth is the most human thing we can do. Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri is a professor of biomedical engineering at the Faculty of Engineering, and the principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya. Comments: letters@theundaily.com

needs your voice, your vote, your version of what this place could be. There is a saying: “You can’t eat the fruit the same day you plant the seed.” And that is true of countries, too. What we plant today – in how we treat each other, how we vote and how we speak up or stay kind – may take years to grow but that does not mean the work is wasted; it means the roots are taking hold. This Merdeka, I don’t have a grand speech to offer, just this simple letter to say I’m still here.

UNDER ONE ROOF

Celebrating 68 years of unity AS Malaysia celebrates its 68th year of independence, we are reminded of the journey that has shaped our nation into what it is today – a diverse, united and forward-moving country. LETTERS letters@thesundaily.com

Fatherhood: Less about fixing, more about guidance

for freedom. Our leaders and people worked tirelessly to build infrastructure, provide education and develop the economy. Even in the face of global crises such as pandemics or economic downturns, Malaysians have remained strong – adapting, innovating and pushing forward together. As we mark this 68th year of independence, we also look to the future – a future that depends on the continued spirit of togetherness and shared responsibility. The challenges we face today are different from those of the past: climate change, technological disruption, global competition and social inequality. However, the values that brought us this far – unity and perseverance – remain just as relevant. It is now up to the younger generation to carry forward the legacy of Merdeka with a renewed sense of patriotism, inclusivity and innovation. Merdeka is a celebration of how far we have come as a nation and a reminder of the journey ahead. It is a day of pride, unity and reflection. As Malaysians, let us continue to cherish our independence, uphold our national values and work hand in hand for a Malaysia that is just, inclusive and prosperous. Selamat Hari Kebangsaan ke -68, Malaysia! Liong Kam Chong Seremban

MY wife and I are expecting our first child. I am anxious to be a dad but also intimidated. My father was not a good role model, so I feel pretty clueless about this whole parenting thing. Please help. Focus on the Family Malaysia: Author Kent Nerburn once said, “It is much easier to become a father than to be one”. Maybe that is one of the reasons why so many dads feel overwhelmed. It is easy for dads to feel like they are in over their heads – when your six-month-old baby starts wailing and you can’t make him stop, when your son is failing algebra and you can’t make him pass, if your daughter gets bullied and you can’t make all of her hurt feelings disappear. It involves slower and subtle work. All of which, of course, is what can make fatherhood so frustrating. In our professional lives, dads frequently hold the reins and make things happen. However, parenting often strips fathers of that control. As much as we may want it to be, fatherhood is not like being a mechanic – we cannot fix things with the simple turn of a spanner. Even worse, sometimes we don’t know if what we are doing is even working. Being a successful dad starts by learning your role, don’t try to force your child down a certain path in life. You have to walk alongside and encourage them in their journey. It is a process that takes a lot more

patience, time and commitment than many men are used to. But at its heart, fatherhood is all about the relationship. Remember, gently coaching your children is the essence of what you are aiming for. Be a coach, cheerleader and champion of your child. Q: How can I tell whether or not my child is addicted to video and online games? He spends a lot of time gaming but it is hard to know whether it is that serious of a problem. Focus on the Family Malaysia: When it comes to addictive behaviour of any kind, it is better to be safe than sorry. Research has shown that addiction significantly disrupts daily life and routines. That is what you want to watch out for: disruption. Several symptoms of addiction can help indicate if your son’s gaming has become something more than just a hobby. These include: 0 A lack of balance and inability to stop the activity. 0 Isolation, neglecting or lying to family and friends. 0 Problems with school or job. 0 Weight gain, neck and back issues, carpal tunnel syndrome. 0 Irritability, defending the use of video games at all costs. 0 Ignoring personal hygiene. 0 Changes or disturbances in sleep patterns. If you notice such signs, get

tougher about time limits and actively monitor screen time. It is easier to enforce boundaries if the gaming console or computer is placed in a shared family area where usage can be easily monitored – keep it out of the bedroom. If your son is losing sleep or his grades are slipping, you may need to place firm boundaries – perhaps even removing the device entirely. Admittedly, these conversations are not easy. If your son is clearly obsessed with the game and acts out with severe hostility when unable to play, you may need to seek professional assistance. Counselling can uncover underlying problems that may be contributing to an addiction. However, in most cases, gaming can be controlled with consistent enforcement of limits. The goal is teaching your son decision-making and balance in life, not making him happy. Setting limits is loving, even when there is some conflict involved. This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling

From the historic moment of independence on Aug 31, 1957 to the vibrant Malaysia we know today, our progress has been deeply rooted in the values of unity, perseverance and a collective determination to build a better future for all. Unity has always been the cornerstone of our national identity. Despite our differences in race, religion and culture, Malaysians have consistently proven that diversity is not a weakness but a strength. The peaceful coexistence of multiple communities, languages and traditions has made Malaysia unique. It is this unity – the willingness to understand, respect and support one another – that has allowed us to rise above challenges and grow as a nation. From the kampung to the city and from schools to workplaces, our strength lies in the bonds we share as Malaysians. At the same time, perseverance has played a crucial role in our national development. Malaysia has faced its share of economic trials, natural disasters and political changes. Yet, time and again we have shown resilience. Our forefathers persevered through colonisation and fought

services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com