03/08/2025

ON SUNDAY August 3, 2025 theSunday Special V

This self-abandonment typically does not manifest in dramatic ways. Instead, you feel quietly numb. You do not break down, but you do not light up either. You move through life as a low-key functional, yet high-key disconnected individual. When care becomes invisible Ironically, the more convincing your mask, the less care people offer. You become “the strong one,” “the cheerful one” and “the one who never needs help”. 6R VXSSRUW RIWHQ ÀRZV HOVHZKHUH ± QRW from malice, but from assumption. People respond to what they see. If you never signal distress, they never imagine you are in it. And when you do need com fort, it might not come. That absence can feel sharp. It breeds resentment. You have DOZD\V VKRZQ XS IRU RWKHUV ± VR ZK\ GRHV no one notice when you need someone to do the same? The hard truth they do not ask, because you trained them not to. You are allowed to stop performing ¿QH ± QRW ZLWK JUDQG EUHDNGRZQV EXW in simple, everyday honesty. It is okay to VD\ ³,¶P D ELW R̆ WRGD\ ´ ,W¶V RND\ WR WDNH a little longer to reply to messages. You are allowed to show up to dinner without a story or a joke. You can send a quiet message to a friend saying, “Can I vent IRU ¿YH PLQXWHV"´

The better you are at pretending to be okay, the less care people offer.”

Let someone hold your silence and sit with you.

• Check in with yourself daily: Ask, “What am I feeling today?” Even just naming an emotion — such as “tired,” “unsettled,” or “flat” — can help ease it. • Limit emotional noise: Too much news, social media or people-pleasing can clutter your emotional space. Permit yourself to tune out for a while. • Let go of the pressure to be ‘on’: You don’t need to entertain, explain or be productive all the time. It’s okay to have a quiet day. • Create small calming habits: Whether it’s a walk, a familiar playlist, journaling or just sitting in silence for a few minutes — these are ways to come home to yourself. You don’t have to do it alone One of the most powerful forms of emotional You do not need to explain your struggle One reason we maintain our performance is the need to justify everything else. If you are sad, there must be a valid reason. If you are tired, it should be burnout. If you are quiet, there had better be an explanation. However, emotions do not always come with footnotes. Sometimes, you are just raw. Or low. Or unravelling in a way you cannot quite name. And that is reason enough. You do not need a story to earn softness. You do not need to deliver a perfect explanation to be taken seriously.

care is allowing someone to be a part of your life. You don’t have to have the right words or a neat explanation. A simple message “I feel off today”, can be the first step towards connection. Be kind to yourself There will be days that feel off balance that’s part of being human. Emotional self-care isn’t about fixing every feeling, it’s about giving yourself space to feel what’s true and move through it gently. In a world that encourages constant doing, taking time to care for your emotions is not indulgent – it’s necessary. So if today feels a little heavy, slow down. Let that be enough. You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of care, especially your own. they unravelled, cheered them through heartbreak and job loss. That is a beautiful part of who you are. But if you never allow anyone to do the same for you, your relationships stay uneven. You deserve more than surface friend ship. You deserve care in return. Let someone hold your silence. Let someone VLW ZLWK \RX ³, GR QRW NQRZ ZKDW , QHHG ± , just know I am not okay.” This does not make you weak. It makes you real and real is where the connection begins. B HLQJ WKH SHUVRQ ZKR LV ³DOZD\V ¿QH´ HDUQV SUDLVH ± EXW LW RIWHQ FRPHV DW WKH price of feeling unseen. Stability might feel safe, but it can also be isolating. So here is your permission: Drop the act. Be soft. Be vague. Be a little messy. Let the mask slip and say, “Actually, I do not know if I am okay today.” That quiet courage is what turns performance into presence. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is simply this: “Today, I need someone to check on me.”

Fine on the outside … but stretched thin beneath the smile.

Taking care of your emotional self-care

TAKING care of your emotional self-care We often talk about physical and mental health, but there’s a quieter, frequently overlooked space in between emotional self-care. It’s the gentle, ongoing practice of checking in with your feelings before they become too heavy or overwhelming. Just like daily habits keep your body well, small acts of emotional care help keep your inner world steady. Every day stress, awkward conversations, minor disappoint ments — they can all build up quietly. If we don’t tend to them, we risk carrying more than we realise. Signs you might be running low emotionally Emotional exhaustion doesn’t always look

dramatic. Sometimes, it’s subtle. You might notice: • Feeling easily annoyed, even by small things • Withdrawing or avoiding social contact • Struggling to focus or feeling mentally foggy • Losing interest in things you usually enjoy • Feeling low-key overwhelmed by simple tasks These signs aren’t something to ignore – they’re gentle nudges asking you to slow down and pay attention. Simple ways to rebalance You don’t need a major reset. Often, it’s the smallest changes that make the biggest difference: