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WEDNESDAY | JUNE 25, 2025

When positivity becomes harmful “ YOU need to be positive about it.” “Everything happens for a reason.” These are some of the phrases we usually hear when we are going through something difficult, depressing or heartbreaking or simply having a bad day. Nobody favours sadness or the feelings of being upset but choosing to ignore our true feelings can endanger our health and lead to emotional breakdown. “Toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralised extreme. This attitude does not just stress the importance of optimism – it also minimises and even denies any trace of human emotions that are not strictly happy or positive,” said Kendra Cherry, a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist. COMMENT by Nurhuwaida Abd Halim

Nobody favours sadness or the feelings of being upset but choosing to ignore our true feelings can endanger our health and lead to emotinal breakdown. – RE U TER SP I C

She also emphasised that toxic positivity can be harmful as it may hurt those who are struggling. When confronted with toxic positivity, people often feel that their emotions are rejected, dismissed or invalidated rather than being given the space to express their natural feelings and receive genuine support. One example of toxic positivity is when someone says, “Everything happens for a reason” after we have lost a loved one. While it may be intended to offer comfort, it can actually invalidate the person’s pain and grief. Another example is when something terrible happens – like a car accident – that leaves us not only with physical pain but also emotional distress. In these moments, phrases like “just stay positive” or “it could be worse” may be intended as sympathy but they often end up silencing us and dismissing the emotions we need to express. It is important to remember that saying things like “Look on the bright side” is not always helpful – whether to ourselves or to others. This does not mean we should adopt a pessimistic outlook but rather that we should become more aware of our tendencies towards toxic positivity. This highlights the importance of recognising when we are misusing positivity and taking steps to break those harmful

They may sound comforting and may help improve our mood temporarily but if we think deeper, they may actually hinder our ability to process emotions in a healthy way. In some cases, they may lead to a different kind of positivity – toxic positivity. The term toxic positivity may not be familiar to everyone as positivity is generally seen as something inherently good. However, toxic positivity is something that should be brought to light and should not be overlooked as it has become a kind of “emotional disease” affecting many people today, especially in this modern era shaped by the pervasive influence of social media. Toxic positivity involves avoiding, repressing or rejecting unpleasant feelings or experiences. It can come in the form of others dismissing our feelings and urging us to “stay positive” or it can stem from within – when we deny our own emotions in an attempt to appear okay. Being optimistic and thinking positively has many advantages but toxic positivity rejects all negative feelings in favour of a happy and frequently deceptively positive facade. Toxic positivity can make us pretend we are always happy even when we are struggling, to the point that this forced positivity can lead us to suppress our true emotions, rather than acknowledging and processing them.

patterns. Allowing ourselves to fully experience difficult days can ultimately lead to greater emotional resilience – much like how sunny days feel even more refreshing after a stretch of rain. Furthermore, toxic positivity is often subtle. Learning to recognise the signs can help us identify this behaviour in ourselves and others. Some common signs of toxic positivity include: 0 Brushing off problems instead of addressing them; 0 Hiding your true feelings behind feel-good quotes or socially acceptable phrases; 0 Minimising other people’s emotions because they make you uncomfortable; 0 Shaming others for not having a positive attitude. Additionally, it is important to recognise when someone else is being toxically positive towards us as this can negatively impact our mental health. We can identify these situations by noticing signs such as: 0 Feeling guilty for being sad, angry

or disappointed; 0 Hiding or masking your true emotions; 0 Trying to be stoic or pushing yourself to “get over” painful feelings. In summary, toxic positivity is not a healthy form of positivity to apply in life. Experiencing bad days or difficult events is normal, and these challenges can actually help us become stronger, more patient and more accepting of whatever life brings. It is okay to experience emotions like sadness, anger or depression because as human beings, we cannot always control our feelings. That is why it is important to recognise the difference between healthy positivity and toxic positivity – for the well-being of ourselves and those around us. Nurhuwaida Abd Halim is a third-year Bachelor of Communication (Hons) student at Universiti Sains Islam Malaysia, majoring in journalism. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

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