23/05/2025

FRIDAY | MAY 23, 2025

10 Taking the lead by stepping back Q : After 15 years of marriage, I have come to realise that I have been taking my wife for granted. I want to start honouring her and showing her the appreciation she deserves but I am not sure where to begin. when the audience rises in applause, he steps back – content to let her receive the admiration. What if husbands adopted a similar mindset towards their wives in marriage? What if, instead of seeking recognition, a husband asked: “How can I honour my wife? How can I help her shine so that others see the incredible woman I see every day? How can I support her in becoming all she is meant to be?” Focus on the Family Malaysia: Many children experience school-related stress or anxiety, which can show up as physical symptoms like stomach aches or nausea, especially in the mornings. Your son may genuinely feel unwell, but the root cause could be emotional rather than medical. UNDER ONE ROOF

healthy ways of handling stress and helping him find coping strategies that suit his personality and interests. Also, acknowledge that life can be challenging and that those challenges can be managed. Let your child know that his feelings are valid and that you are there to listen. Reassure him that you are on his side and that he can talk to you about what is troubling him without fear or judgement. Finally, work together to set small, positive goals – like improved attendance or classroom engagement – and celebrate progress. As you navigate this journey, consider seeking support from a counsellor and involving his teachers to ensure he is getting the help he needs from all sides. This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. Join dad and daughter date and make memories

Consider taking him to a doctor and/or a counsellor who can help identify any underlying factors contributing to these morning episodes. If a medical evaluation reveals a specific diagnosis, work together to create a plan – clearly outlining when it is appropriate to stay home and when he should go to school. If no physical illness is found, gently explore what may be affecting him emotionally – whether it’s something at school, in the classroom or even at the tuition centre. Ask open-ended questions such as, “Who do you enjoy hanging out with?”, “What’s your least favourite class?” or “What’s been stressing you out lately?” These kinds of questions can create space for a more honest conversation and may reveal what’s affecting him. With that insight, support him by modelling

Don’t just love your wife – cherish her. Support her dreams, celebrate her strengths and let her know she is seen and valued. As one dancer beautifully put it: “My job is to make the beautiful yet more beautiful.” In many ways, that is the quiet but powerful calling of every husband, too. Q: How can I tell if my teenager is genuinely sick or just trying to avoid school? He frequently complains of feeling unwell in the mornings, especially on school days, but his symptoms tend to disappear by the afternoon – and they’re almost nonexistent on weekends. I feel conflicted. Is it wrong to be suspicious of his motives?

Focus on the Family Malaysia: Let me offer an illustration that might come as a surprise: ballet. A famous Russian choreographer once said: “The ballet is a woman.” What he meant was that the essence and beauty of ballet are most vividly expressed through a woman’s grace, strength and emotional depth conveyed in movement. But what often goes unnoticed is the role of the male dancer. His primary purpose is not to take centre stage, but to support and showcase his partner. When he lifts her, steadies her through complex moves and twirls her into the spotlight, his strength allows her to shine. And

that will last a lifetime for you and your daughter (13-19 years). Register now at family.org.my/daddaughter. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

Guidance, support and recognition vital for young volunteers

COMMENT by Sadina Suffian

VOLUNTEERISM in Malaysia is often praised in speeches and government initiatives. It is seen as a vital part of building communities and empowering youth. However, behind the appreciation lies a harder truth: volunteerism is often misunderstood, undervalued and sometimes misused. Too often, volunteers,

community efforts in a more structured way. Apps like MySukarela are starting to make volunteer matching easier. However, having such programmes is not enough. We need them to be active, accessible and supported by a culture that values them – not just on paper but in practice. A key part of any volunteer

“A key part of any volunteer

experince is reflecting on what was done and how it affected the people involved. Too often, young volunteers face stressful or emotional situations. They go home with no one asking how they feel. At Team Selangor, every project ends with a compulsory debriefing. This is part of how volunteers should be taken care of. After the recent Putra Heights gas pipeline explosion, our youths worked closely with rescue teams, local authorities and other organisations. It was a high-pressure and emotionally demanding environment. After the work was done, a proper session for volunteers to talk about what happened was held. They were asked what went well, what could be done better and how they felt. This step is just as important as the action itself. It helps young people process what they saw, make sense of it and continue volunteering with a stronger and clearer mind. Respecting volunteers means more than a thank-you note. It means giving them proper roles, offering them support and showing that their time matters. Schools and employers need to recognise volunteer work as something that builds character, skills and understanding. In countries like Canada and the UK, volunteering is

especially young ones, are expected to give their time and skills without proper guidance, recognition or support. Their efforts are taken for granted, their motivation assumed and their well-being overlooked. This mindset risks turning a meaningful act of service into unpaid work with little value placed on growth or care. Volunteers are not just extra hands. They are engaged individuals who choose to help because they believe in a better future. Whether clearing homes after floods, running donation drives or teaching children, they offer more than effort – they offer value, time and hope. Yet, their contributions are often ignored. Tasks are given without purpose. No one asks what they have learned, how they coped or what it meant to them. Volunteers are seen as replaceable instead of individuals who are learning and growing through service. This must change. Fair treatment in volunteerism does not mean payment; it means respect, structure and care. Volunteerism, when planned and supported, helps people grow. They learn leadership, responsibility, teamwork and how to think through problems. It is more than just helping; it shapes how someone sees the world. Malaysia has started to move in this direction. The MyCorps

experience is reflecting on what was done and how it affected the people involved. Too often, young volunteers face stressful or emotional situations. They go home with no one asking how they feel.

Respecting volunteers means more than a thank-you note. It means giving them proper roles, offering them support and showing that their time matters. – AMIRUL SYAFIQ/THESUN

should be encouraged to take on leadership roles – not just as followers but as decision makers in their own right. These steps are how we respect those who give their time. They help ensure that volunteerism is not taken for granted or used unfairly but seen as a serious and valued contribution to society. Volunteering should not be about filling gaps. It should be about building a stronger and kinder country. When done right, it can shape the person giving their time, just as it helps the people receiving it. Let us stop treating volunteers as a resource to be used and start treating them as citizens building a better Malaysia. Their time, effort and care matter, and they deserve a system that treats them justly. Sadina Suffian is treasurer of Bersih and COO of Team Selangor, an outfit under the Menteri Besar’s office, focusing on youth empowerment and volunteerism. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

When we treat volunteering as part of a young person’s growth, it stops being an extra task. It becomes an integral part of who they are becoming. Some organisations see volunteers as cheap help. Tasks meant for trained staff are handed to young people with little instructions. These same young volunteers may agree out of eagerness or pressure, not realising that they are being put in unfair situations. This is why we need to be clear about the way we support and protect those who choose to serve. Volunteers must be given defined roles, so they understand what is expected of them and why their work matters. They must be offered proper training and guidance throughout their involvement. Their safety and well-being must always be a priority, especially when working in physically or emotionally demanding situations. Just as important, they should have access to emotional support, particularly after dealing with distressing events or intense collaboration. And when they are ready, they

initiative by the Youth and Sports Ministry sends young people on local and overseas missions, helping them develop new skills and understanding. The Yayasan Sukarelawan Siswa, under the Higher Education Ministry, gives university students the chance to contribute to

recognised and included in student records and job applications. We can do the same. A national volunteer portfolio would let young people track their hours, list their contributions and reflect on what they have learned. This could then be included in scholarship forms, interviews or university applications.