10/05/2026

NATIONAL 3 theSun on Sunday MAY 10, 2026

Patience, sincerity key to acceptance of stepmothers

PETALING JAYA: Stepmotherhood should no longer be viewed through outdated stereotypes, experts say, as blended families continue to prove that strong family ties can grow beyond biological relationships. Universiti Malaysia Pahang Al-Sultan Abdullah Centre for Human Sciences senior lecturer Dr Noradilah Md Nordin said healthy family functioning should not be measured solely against the image of a “traditional” nuclear family, as every family structure comes with its own strengths, dynamics and adjustment processes. She said blended families often face unique emotional transitions in the early stages, particularly in relation to role adjustment, trust-building and managing expectations within the household. “However, consistent positive interactions, healthy communication, patience and emotional support can gradually help stepfamilies build stable and loving relationships. “Over time, blended families can develop deep emotional bonds and a strong sense of belonging, even if the journey may look different from traditional family experiences,” she said. On society’s perception of stepmothers, Noradilah said greater empathy and understanding are needed to reduce emotional pressure caused by stereotyping and misconceptions surrounding the role. “Cultural and social PETALING JAYA: Not all Mother’s Day stories come wrapped in tradition, some are still being written slowly in blended families, where stepmothers are learning that love sometimes starts with patience, not perfection. For Rozita Abidin, 52, her journey as a stepmother began with fear and curiosity, as she stepped into an unfamiliar family dynamic while learning to understand her role within a blended household. “I knew I was not part of the children’s lives from the beginning, so I had to learn to understand my place within this family. “In the beginning, I tried not to force the relationship too much. I spent more time observing, listening, and learning what they were comfortable with,” she said. Rozita believes many people misunderstand stepmothers by expecting them to immediately become a “mother” in the same way as a relationship that has been built since childhood. She said in reality, these relationships take time, and love in a blended family often grows slowly through small but consistent moments. “I built trust with my stepchildren through simple things. For example, being Ű BY QIRANA NABILLA MOHD RASHIDI newsdesk@thesundaily.com

‘Building trust, spouse support help create healthy communication within blended family, greatly reduces misunderstandings and emotional pressure’

Describing her approach to building trust, Intan said she prioritised natural interaction rather than forcing closeness. “I spent time with them whenever possible, asked about their school life and joined activities that could help strengthen our bond as a family.” She also recalled small but meaningful moments that signalled growing acceptance, including family trips and everyday shared experiences. “My husband plays a key role in helping explain situations to the children and building understanding. Good communication helps avoid misunderstandings. “Harmony is built slowly through small, consistent efforts.” Intan added that harmony in blended families requires time, space and emotional understanding among all members. Her advice to other stepmothers is to focus on gradual trust-building.

when things are not always easy.” Meanwhile, for Intan Marliana Mohd Saidi, 35, her journey into stepmotherhood began with careful preparation and awareness of the emotional adjustments required. “Before becoming a stepmother, I had already thought carefully about what it would take to win the hearts of my stepchildren and my husband’s family. “I knew it would not be easy, so I tried to approach things calmly and avoid making the situation awkward. Alhamdulillah , over time, I managed to build a bond with them even though I already have my own child.” Intan acknowledged that negative judgements are still present, but said she remained focused on proving her role through actions rather than assumptions. “I had to stay strong and overcome negative judgements to prove that I am capable of looking after the family well.”

emotional negotiation adjustment. “These relationships do not form instantly, but develop gradually through ongoing interaction and communication,” she said. Noradilah emphasised that the role of the biological parent, particularly the spouse, is crucial in helping blended families build healthy and stable relationships. She highlighted that in many blended households, the biological parent often acts as an “emotional bridge” between the stepmother and the children, influencing how family members adjust to the new dynamic. “Children often observe how their biological parent treats the stepparent. When the parent consistently shows respect, reassurance and emotional support towards the stepmother, children are more likely to gradually accept the new family structure in a healthier way.” She added that the biological parent plays an important role in making the stepmother feel accepted within the family. She said simple efforts such as involving the stepmother in family activities, supporting her decisions could help strengthen family relationships over time. She also urged families, schools and communities to encourage open conversations about diverse family dynamics without stigma or comparison to conventional family structures. – BY QIRANA NABILLA MOHD RASHIDI this process. “When your partner offers understanding, avoids comparisons and helps build healthy communication within the family, it greatly reduces misunderstandings and emotional pressure.” Rozita emphasised that in taking care of her emotions, she learned not to set overly high expectations too quickly, and instead allowed herself time to rest, seek support from trusted people and remember that relationships take time to grow. “This experience has taught me a lot about patience, empathy and sincerity. I learned that love is not only about blood ties, but also about the effort to continue showing up and caring, even adaptation, role and mutual

expectations often make the adjustment process more emotionally complex. “In many Asian societies, including Malaysia, there is still a strong expectation that families should function according to a traditional or ‘ideal’ family structure. Because of this, blended families may sometimes be misunderstood or viewed differently,” she said. She said comparisons with biological mothers, fear of judgement and concerns about acceptance within the extended family network may also affect the emotional wellbeing of stepmothers during the adjustment period. “Blended family adjustment requires empathy, patience, realistic expectations and support not only from family members but also from society,” she said. Noradilah said long-standing stereotypes shaped by films, fairy tales and popular culture continue to fuel negative perceptions towards stepmothers, despite the growing presence of blended families in modern society. “Stepmothers are often unfairly judged through outdated narratives that portray them as controlling, distant or less caring compared with biological mothers.” Noradilah said such portrayals fail to reflect the emotional complexities involved in blended family dynamics, where relationships require time and trust-building among all family members. “Blended families are complex family systems that involve present when they needed someone, listening without judgement, respecting their space, and not trying to replace their biological mother. “I believe sincere relationships cannot be forced.” Rozita said there were several small moments that meant a great deal to her, including when her stepchildren began sharing stories about college, asking for her opinion, or calling her spontaneously when they needed help. To others, she said, these moments may seem small, but to her they were clear signs that they were starting to accept her presence. “The support of my spouse was also very important throughout

Strong family ties could grow beyond biological relationships: Academic

Maryam and Ryzal with their children Rina and Rian. – BERNAMAPIC

Bicultural couple instil Korean, Malay values in children

nurtured through everyday habits. “For example, the way we greet people is different. In South Korea, when meeting elders, we usually say annyeonghaseyo (hello), but we don’t shake hands or kiss the hand like in Malay culture. So when Rina goes to South Korea, she still greets people the Malay way. “Now, I’m trying to get Rina to say annyeonghaseyo and gomapseumnida (thank you). I also teach them to always say ‘thank you’ when receiving something and to offer their seats to older people,” she said. “In Korean culture, the youngest family member usually prepares the spoons and dining utensils before meals as a sign of respect for elders. So I teach my children that too because it’s something I practise in daily life,” she explained. – Bernama

KUALA LUMPUR: Rina and Rian – the adorable children of social media influencers Maryam Yoo Narae and Ryzal Ibrahim – continue to capture the hearts of netizens, with their personalities, intelligence and entertaining antics, reflecting a blend of two distinct cultures. Raised in a bicultural household that combines their mother’s South Korean heritage and their father’s Malaysian roots, the couple’s eldest child, five-year-old Rina, is not only fluent in more than one language but is also being brought up with the values of respect and good manners. One-year-old Rian is also being raised in much the same way as his older sister. Maryam, 34, better known online as Maryam Duriankimchi, said she believes values such as respect and courtesy can be